The Golden Globes took place last night (January 10), and was not short on shareable moments. Here are 24 of the biggest talking points, minus Ricky Gervais’ continued Golden Globe-hosting shenanigan streak, which you can read about here.
1. Jim Carrey blasting award ceremonies’ utter banality and vacuousness
“I am two-time Golden Globe winner, Jim Carrey,” begins the Ace Ventura actor as he introduces the award for Best Musical or Comedy. “You know, when I go to sleep at night, I’m not just a guy going to sleep. I’m two-time Golden Globe winner Jim Carrey going to get some well-needed shut-eye.” At this point the audience isn’t sure what’s going on. They’re not sure if they like this.
“When I dream I don’t just dream any old dream,” he continues, “I dream about being three-time Golden Globe actor Jim Carrey. Because then I would be enough.” This is getting a bit too close to the bone for the people who actually care about winning awards. “It would finally be true, and I could stop this terrible search, for what I know ultimately won’t fulfil me.”
“But these are important, these awards – I don’t want you to think that just because if you blew up our solar system alone, you wouldn’t be able to find us or any of human history with the naked eye. But from our perspective, this is huge.”
He’ll either be presenting next year’s awards or he’ll be banned for life.
2. J-Law shutting down a phone-using reporter
When a reporter at the press conference following the show used his phone to read a question to award-winner Jennifer Lawrence, she told him to stop using his device and “live in the now”. When he then asked her face-to-face about the Oscars next month, she interrupted saying, “We’re at the Golden Globes – if you put your phone down, you’d know that”.
Twitter freaked out, with comments including the patronising “English probably isn’t his first language”. Does that mean we should assume he wouldn’t be able to remember one question? Or that using a phone while talking to someone isn’t equally rude?
The social network seems to have decided – awfully – that Jennifer Lawrence’s personal goal and purpose is to be ‘quirky’ and ‘cute’ – but what would the comments be like if a man had said what Lawrence said?
3. Lady Gaga freaking Leonardo DiCaprio out
Less contentious ground here. Lady Gaga brushed past Leonardo DiCaprio’s chair on the way to picking up her award for her role in American Horror Story, and he looked up, completely startled. The vine below went viral thanks to DiCaprio’s seeming aversion to Gaga, but he’s since explained, dully, “I just didn’t know what was passing me – that’s all!”
4. Crazy Ex-Girlfriendactress losing it
An utterly breathless Rachel Bloom tells the story of her musical comedy, which nearly didn’t make it to TV.
5. Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet having a Titanic reunion
The below photo is from 1998, following the fresh-faced pair’s performance in Titanic. Neither won best actor/actress that year.
Now in 2016 – 18 years later – they were both winners, Winslet for Best Supporting Actress for her role in Steve Jobs, DiCaprio for Best Male Actor in The Revenant. But what are they saying to one another?
6. Andy Samberg bringing up Bill Cosby
The ex-SNL man and Brooklyn 99 actor enjoyed taking the piss with imaginings of what had happened at the year’s show, though he was presenting one of the first awards of the night. “Tom Hanks barfed, Rob Lowe fell off the balcony right in the middle of Cosby’s surprise appearance and full confession… Blanchett and Winslet fought to the death over the proper spelling of K/Cate, that was nuts… You guys remember?”
7. Ryan Gosling and Brad Pitt’s acrimonious presenting duo
Playing up to his designation by the media as the successor to Brad Pitt, Ryan Gosling pretended to have a huge chip on his shoulder when introducing The Big Short to viewers alongside Mr Angelina Jolie.
Let’s forget about the phone/reporter incident, because this clip of Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Schumer presenting their movies Joy and Trainwreck together is good reason to have them hosting next year’s ceremony. Schumer telling someone in the crowd to turn off their phone shows they’ve got self-awareness down; Lawrence agreeing with Schumer’s admission that most people call her a ‘c*nt’ is gratifyingly rude.
And later, when Lawrence beats Schumer to Best Actress in a Motion Picture Comedy, they hug it out.
9. Kate Winslet being ‘surprised’
Is she really that surprised? This is an instance where award ceremony humility, credence in the significance of the awards themselves, and obligatory media niceness have combined to form something pathologically inoffensive.
10. ‘Who’s typing this shit?’ – Jaimie Alexander’s teleprompter fail
Thor actress Jaimie Alexander had some issues with her teleprompter, which wouldn’t load up the names for Best Actor in a Limited Series or TV Movie. “Who’s typing this shit?”, she enquired, pretty reasonably.
11. Jamie Foxx paying tribute to blundering Miss Universe host Steve Harvey
Steve Harvey’s fuck-up at Miss Universe 2015 is now infamous – when he read the wrong name from his card and ended up announcing the runner-up. Jamie Foxx had a sly dig, briefly announcing Straight Outta Compton as the winner of Best Soundtrack, despite it not even being nominated.
12. Katy Perry, full stop
Here she is promoting her ‘as-seen-on-TV’ BumpIt hairpiece to Jennifer Lawrence.
The winner of Best Actress in a Motion Picture Drama movie for Room, Brie Larson, then revealed that Perry had bought her table a round of In-n-Out burgers.
Catch her going mad at Taraji P. Henson’s win for her role as Cookie in Empire.
13. Quentin Tarantino getting pissed, accepting award, trying to speak Italian
Tarantino has been hailed as a classic drunk uncle after his slurred, slightly offensive acceptance speech on behalf of legendary Italian composer Ennio Morricone, who wrote the soundtrack for Tarantino’s latest film The Hateful Eight, which won him his first Golden Globe. At the end he says “Grah-tzeh” to Ennio – a noble attempt at the Italian word for ‘thank you’, ‘grazie’, which actually has three syllables.
14. America Ferrera & Eva Longoria referencing Golden Globes’ confusion over Latina actresses
In December the Golden Globes mistook America Ferrera for Gina Rodriguez when Ferrera was announcing the nominees for the awards. Introducing themselves last night before presenting an award, they said, “I’m Eva Longoria, not Eva Mendes” and “I’m America Ferrera, not Gina Rodriguez.” Touché.
15. Mr Robot beating Game of Thrones
That does seem surprising given Game Of Thrones‘ awards rep, but it’s never actually won Best Drama at the Golden Globes.
16. Mozart In The Jungle beating Transparent and Orange Is The New Black
But Mozart In The Jungle, like Transparent, is also on Amazon Prime – and picked up exactly the same awards this year that Transparent did last year – Best Comedy Seires and Best Actor in a Comedy Series. Weird, right?
17. Lady Gaga beating Kirsten Dunst and Queen Latifah
Gaga called it “One of the greatest moments in my life” to be awarded Best Actress in a Limited Series or TV Movie, for American Horror Story – beating stellar performances by Kirsten Dunst in the second season of black comedy-drama Fargo and by Queen Latifah in Bessie Smith biopic Bessie. She also spoke until the embarrassing music came on, too.
18. Sylvester Stallone showing emotion on accepting his first Golden Globe for Creed
“Most of all,” he said, “I want to thank my imaginary friend Rocky Balboa for being the best friend I’ve ever had.”
19. A six-episode BBC drama about Thomas Cromwell beating Fargo and American Horror Story
Yep, that’s Wolf Hall, the complex Tudor politics show based on the novels by Hilary Mantel, which faced off big American productions to scoop up the award for Best Limited Series or TV Movie.
20. Empire’s Taraji P Henson handing out cookies
“Cookies for everyone tonight!” said the actress after making her way through the crowd, spreading love and cookies on her way. The treats were to celebrate her Empire character, Cookie.
21. Rubbish handshakes
“Rubbish?” you ask. “How rubbish, exactly?” See for yourself. Here is Steve Jobs screenwriter Aaron Sorkin’s:
Here is The Revenant‘s Oscar-piner Leonardo DiCaprio’s:
22. The Martian winning best motion picture (musical or comedy)
The surprise is really that it was even nominated in the Comedy category. It’s funny, yes, but it’s not really a comedy film, is it?
23. Leo DiCaprio exceeding his speech allowance by over a minute
He wanted to talk about indigenous peoples in a meaningful way, so waited until the classical music started playing. It’s a shame it’s classical music that screams, “GET OFF THE STAGE!”
24. Aziz Ansari’s brilliant prop
Aziz Ansari – aka Tom Haverford from Parks & Recreation – was nominated for Best Actor in a TV Comedy, but expected to lose to Jeffrey Tambor from Amazon’s comedy-drama, Transparent.
Instead he lost to this guy:
Good prop, though.