March 21, 2006 was, to many, an average, idle Tuesday: Bush and Blair were still somehow in charge of their respective countries, Orson had just seen off Chico’s ‘It’s Chico Time’ to hold onto the top spot in the singles chart and Liverpool trounced Birmingham City 7-0 to advance into the FA Cup semi-finals. Truly, these were simpler times.
But, across the pond in the US, this seemingly unremarkable day in history would actually mark the beginning of a revolution – a social media revolution. It was on this day that Twitter co-founder Jack Dorsey sent out the very first tweet – no doubt a momentous call-to-arms that would herald the dawning of a new age in global communication, right? Well, not exactly:
Dorsey’s first utterance on “twttr” was, as you can see, quite unremarkable. Although it did get us thinking: did any of the rockstars, comedians and famous people that make scrolling through our timelines such an unending source of entertainment kick off their social media policy with anything better than that? Well, thanks to the first tweet tool Discover, that’s exactly what we were able to, er, discover.
Here, then, are just some of the best first entries and/or missteps into Twitter from politicians, indie bands and a slightly confused England captain.
Kanye West (@kanyewest)
One of 2015/16’s most prolific tweeters – to the point that each piece of 140-character spiel has become something of an international event – got off the mark for the second time (he deleted two years’ worth of tweets in October 2012 – although the finest moments of that first tweeting era were of course screenshotted for our viewing pleasure) in 2013 with a bit of self-promotion for his sonic masterpiece ‘Yeezus’.
First tweet rating: 6/10 – There’s a gratuitous use of caps lock and self-obsession, but sadly very little trace of the mania that we’ve come to expect from Ye’s tweets in recent months.
Liam Gallagher (@liamgallagher)
A self-proclaimed “NATIONAL TREASURE”, Liam’s Twitter account has provided a constant flurry of entertainment since he first registered his presence on the site all the way back in March 2009.
First tweet rating: 8/10 – There’s a rhythmic stream-of-consciousness, diary-like quality to “LG”‘s opening message to the world, and it’s a policy that he’s continued ever since. Consistency is key.
Barack Obama (@POTUS)
While the POTUS may have his own personal account (although it’s manned by his ‘Organizing for Action’ staff), that handle’s first tweet is not as interesting as the first tweet from the President’s official account, which’ll soon possibly be taken over by Hilary Clinton or Donald Trump (please not Trump).
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First tweet rating: 7/10 – “It’s Barack. Really!” That’s some good internet diction there, Sir.
Katy Perry (@katyperry)
The pop star has amassed 84 million followers since she made her entry into the Twittersphere in February 2009.
First tweet rating: 6/10 – Like Gallagher, Perry initially considered Twitter to be something of an online diary, before, like the POTUS, she broke into internet speak and endeared herself to millions of online followers.
Father John Misty (@fatherjohnmisty)
Father John is an amusing follow on Twitter, providing strange-yet-humorous musings on partying (“Partying so hard I had to stop and tweet“) to having some very passionate feelings about the constant chopping-and-changing of what eventually became ‘The Life of Pablo’.
First tweet rating: 8/10 – Unusual subject matter, perhaps, but it does impart some wise advice: it’ll soon be time for us all to file our taxes. Thanks, Father John HMRC.
A smorgasbord of pictorial and motion visuals, there’s always something happening over on Grimes’ vibrant Twitter page.
First tweet rating: 7/10 – Wouldn’t you have clicked follow just to find out who the hell D’eon is?
DJ Khaled (@DJKhaled)
The King Of Snapchat had a strong social media game long before the advent of the 10-second messaging service, as his first ever tweet demonstrates – you can actually imagine him bellowing the above declaration at his laptop, before then remembering that he actually needed to type his thoughts into the keyboard for it to register properly. Snapchat’s invention would be a mere two years away, however…
First tweet rating: 9/10 – The journey through success is still ongoing a full seven years later. Props, Khaled.
Hugh Laurie (@HughLaurie)
The House star marked his Twitter bow with a typically erudite turn of phrase. Apparently Satan runs Twitter, too.
First tweet rating: 7/10 – Imagine if everyone tweeted like Hugh?
The Cribs (@TheCribs)
The Wakefield indie darlings showed some real rock’n’roll spirit with their 2009 Twitter debut. True to form, then.
First tweet rating: 7/10 – Informative and a bit rock ‘n’ roll.
Currently teasing pictures of the four-piece beavering away in the studio, Warpaint’s account is ideal for fans of the awesome indie-rock heroes.
First tweet rating: 6/10 – All publicity is good publicity, right?
St Vincent (@St_Vincent)
Annie Clark may have been drowsy typing her first tweet, but she certainly didn’t sleep on Twitter – look how early she joined the party!
First tweet rating: 7/10 – Little did Annie know that “this thing” would become the force that it is today.
The MC has tweeted over 30,000 times since 2009 – thankfully, he got out of the habit of using Twitter as an MSN Messenger status-style service pretty quickly.
First tweet rating: 5/10 – Let’s hope the Skepta of 2009 went to see the doctor about this rather worrying problem.
And last, but by no means least: Wayne Rooney (@WayneRooney)
The Daddy of first tweets: if you’ve yet to join Twitter, this is the gold standard you have to reach when you type in your first hashtagged thought. The England captain’s inaugural attempt at tweeting was spectacular for all the wrong reasons: presumably under the impression that his then-teammate Rio Ferdinand would be the only person able to read his invitation to carpool (I mean, why would you ever need to @ anybody anyway? And as for private messaging, well, you can forget that), Rooney made the greatest entrance to Twitter that the world has ever and will ever see.
First tweet rating: 10/10 – Would’ve given it an 11 if it was at all mathematically possible.