Somewhat ludicrously, it seems Jamie 'Afro' Archer is being positioned as the 'rock' contestant on this year's X Factor – despite the fact that he looks like a cross between Sideshow Bob, the bloke from Toploader, and Toad from 'Mario Kart'.

The Daily Mail are calling him the next Susan Boyle, potentially "another hairy angel in the making". He's a hairy something, alright. The other night he did Primal Scream's 'Rocks' (or 'Get Your Rocks Off', as X Factor producers seem to think it's called):

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He's also tried his hand at Oasis' 'Stop Crying Your Heart Out', with equally painful results.

And, most famously, he's done 'Sex On Fire', which got written up as if it was a moment of transcendent genius – rather than a risible bit of shouty pub karaoke.

Thing is, if he's supposed to be the 'rock' contestant, why doesn't he cover some real rock songs. Pantera's 'Mouth For War', for example. I think we'd all enjoy that.