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By Luke Lewis

Posted on 17/09/08 at 05:46:40 pm

News that Dylan's 'Blowin' In The Wind' is to be used to promote The Co-op supermarket inevitably inspired us to revisit His Bobness' past crimes in this field.

Exhibit A: the mildly creepy ad for Victoria's Secret lingerie in which Dylan skulks around scowling while a svelte underwear model writhes for the camera.

Evidently reveling in the chance to rile environmentalists and lefties who would presume to box him in as an iconoclast (he's been pulling that trick ever since 'Don't Look Back'), Dylan's next move was to advertise a gas-guzzling Cadillac SUV:

Here are ten more distressing examples of musicians cashing in...

1. John Lydon - Country Life butter
It's pointless accusing Lydon of 'selling out'. He'd gleefully agree. This is the man who christened the Pistols' 1996 comeback the 'Filthy Lucre' tour.

2. Slash – Volkswagen
Because nothing screams rock'n'roll like a moderately-priced saloon car, right?

Turns out Slash is no stranger to plugging products. He also filmed this ad for Mastercard, which never aired, presumably because it encouraged guitar shop vandalism amongst kids.

Back in the 80s, Slash also plugged short-lived metal mag 'Rip' although, judging by the axeman's frazzled demeanour, he possibly wasn't entirely compos mentis at the time.

3. Alice Cooper – school stationery
Can't help but feel the two-fingers-to-the-Man rancour of 'School's Out' is somewhat compromised by association with ink cartridges and protractors.

Still, it's more rock'n'roll than lending your visage to an upmarket brand of golf club:

4. The White Stripes – Coca-Cola
Depressingly, Jack White composed a song, 'Love Is The Truth', especially for this Coco-Cola ad, which only aired in Australia.

5. Gary Glitter – Heinz Lentil Soup
Take a nostalgic trip back to the days when the jump-suited one was still more “laughing stock” than “global hate figure”.

6. Lily Allen – mobile phones
Does it still count as selling out if you only appear in the ad in animated form?

7. Snoop Dogg – Orbit chewing gum
“Dirty mouth? Clean it up with Orbit Peppermint.” A rare example of a celebrity endorsement that actually makes you like the artist more.

8. Madonna and Missy Elliott – Gap
The agonising cringe-worthiness of this ad is now enshrined in legend. Bonus points to Elliott for rhyming “jeans” with, er, “jeans”. Risible.

9. Ozzy Osbourne – I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
Presumably where the suits at 'Country Life' pinched the idea from.

Amazingly, that's not the most embarrassing product endorsement of Ozzy's career:

10. LL Cool J – Old Spice deodorant
The veteran rapper is apparently hot property in the US endorsement market, following the success of his fitness book, 'The Platinum Workout'.

13 comments

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Crystal [Visitor] //September 17 2008 at 23:03
Good Lord once again you idiots have missed the point. For one thing, the White Stripes did not do the Coke ad. Don't include Meg in there, she had nothing to do with it. Secondly, Jack White couldn't give a shit less if his Bond song is used in a Coke ad. That is NOT why he is angry. He's angry because he expected the song to be used for promotional purposes after the song was released or after the movie came out. He did not want people to hear it an incomplete version of the song before it was to be released. He is also upset because it was being reported that he wrote that tune specifically for the Coke ad and that wasn't true.
scarlet [Visitor] //September 18 2008 at 10:51
Exactly - everyone knew that coke were going to be using the song because they've had their promotional campaign akin to Quantum of Solace for donkeys now - he knew what he was getting in to!! But still - Coke Zero Zero 7? Shameless...
Marie [Visitor] //September 18 2008 at 12:16
New Order - Regret for Nutella (in France)
Martin [Visitor] //September 18 2008 at 14:27
Jack White is a talentless twat anyway.
[Visitor] //September 19 2008 at 01:48
ABDY WARHOL TDK CASSETTES
scunny [Visitor] //January 28 2009 at 17:47
how about the New Order/Sunkist ad that never was. Sunkist pay New Order $300,00 to record a version of blue monday with lyrics favourable to their product only for barney to be unable to stop laughing during the recording. another priceless gem from the factory archive of how to lose millions in business
Tam [Visitor] //January 28 2009 at 18:28
“If you do a commercial, you’re off the artistic roll call FOREVER. Every word you say becomes suspect. Every word that comes out of your mouth is now like a turd falling into my drink. And that goes for everyone! Except Willie Nelson.” - Bill Hicks
Vicki [Visitor] //January 28 2009 at 19:23
I'm a huge Madness fan but when Suggs did an advert for Full House magazine and re-worked the lyrics to Our House it was just embrassing!
Horse [Visitor] //January 28 2009 at 19:28
You'll never see Tom Waits in here because he'll sue their asses off...again
Callum [Visitor] //January 28 2009 at 21:47
'Dramatization: Orbit gum will not get you into heaven.' rofl
Fuzzy Dunlop [Visitor] //January 28 2009 at 22:59
Why shouldn't artists cash in on their talent? They're all signed to major labels in the first place
haha [Visitor] //January 29 2009 at 11:35
some of these are well funny. i dont think anyone would turn down the money..
Iggy Pop [Visitor] //March 8 2009 at 22:08
Why am I not up there?

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