Stop everything! Victoria Beckham has released a hip-hop album. No, wait, she recorded the album with producer extraordinaire Damon Dash (he formed Roc-A-Fella records with Jay Z, whom he used to manage) in New York in 2003 but it was scrapped. Now, though, ‘Come Together’ has emerged online.

It seems a demo disco of songs from the album has been sold on eBay, with buyer helpfully uploading them to YouTube for our enjoyment. Oh, this is too delicious. There are collaborations with Ol’ Dirty Bastard (hear ‘That Dude’ below) and rappers M.O.P. and it’s probably fair to say no-one ever expected the former Spice Girl – this woman was dubbed Posh Spice, remember – collaborating with those particular New York rappers.

It was pretty much impossible for ODB to sound anything but awesome but – Jesus – give the M.O.P song ‘DAT Simple’ a go. They sound they’re rapping on an entirely different song to Victoria.

Speaking to The Evening Standard about the album, Dash once said: Because Victoria’s record company aren’t happy about the fact that she came over to New York to work with me they are putting out stories. Before anyone’s even heard the album they were making things up. I heard a story that Victoria was calling herself the female Eminem. That’s just dumb. She never said that.”

Vrin vrin vrin!

Key line in the above: “Wearing a sweater in sunny weather / Since you’ve been gone I’ve been so cold.”

‘Come Together’ was one of two Victoria Beckham albums – the other was called ‘Open Your Eyes’ – that was were scrapped due to the disappointing sales of her 2001 self-titled debut. Imagine being confronted with your 2003 self in 2016. An awful prospect, but fun for everyone else.