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By Camilla Pia

Posted on 11/05/09 at 05:37:49 pm

It’s rock ‘n’ roll, so anything goes right? Well no, not for disabled people it would seem. Ever since I first attempted the 'Smooth Criminal' dance in my front room aged 8 I have gawped at my musical idols in wonder, deep down secretly wishing there was someone just a bit like me on stage.

You see, I always wanted to dance like Michael Jackson, and when that failed, play guitar like James Dean Bradfield or sing like Beth Ditto, but I was born with one leg much shorter than the other – which seemed to push that career choice way out of reach before I’d even attempted one note.

Being on stage didn’t seem open to people like me. It was hit home good and proper when I auditioned for the school nativity play only to be told by a teacher that I couldn’t be one of the angels because “have you ever seen an angel with one shorter leg?” Ouch.

continued...

Not to get too jargon-heavy, I was born with a rare combination of short bones, bones missing entirely and all sorts of weird medical freakery that made my right leg short, but entirely unique. I really wish they’d call it Camilla Pia syndrome, but sadly no-one from the healthcare profession has offered thus far.

Now, admittedly their most recent records have been a bit cack, but I remember reading somewhere in the full throes of my teenage Weezer crush that Rivers Cuomo was born with one leg shorter than the other too, and that was, in a funny way, a real strength. I was always desperate to ask him whether having a raised shoe meant he was mistaken for a goth or an obsessive Spice Girls fan like I constantly was. And did he have difficulty standing for a long time at gigs and getting up onto the death-traps that some venues call stages?

By this point, I was totally over mainstream pop and had turned to the ‘dark side’ of alternative music to find more fellow oddballs. It was the 90s, and indie seemed to be choc-full of them; from Jarvis Cocker to Paul Draper and Nicky Wire. While obviously not disabled, these were all one-of-a-kind, iconic weirdos who never fitted in until they got on stage. They were powerful role models, in that they thrived on their outsider-ness, using it as a strength.

Where are the inspiring freaks and misfits in 2009? The current scene, by contrast, feels weirdly conformist and generic. Bat For Lashes? She's fashionably 'quirky', not a genuine oddball, so it doesn't ring true.

I wonder if there's a parallel, in fact, between this lack of inspiring oddballs in music, and the puzzling absence of songwriters willing to sing about disability. Because it's not as if there aren't artists out there with physical impairments. There’s Britain’s first disabled punk band Heavy Load, for example, Ladyhawke who has Asperger Syndrome, Jón “Jónsi” Þór Birgisson of Sigur Rós who is blind in one eye and Thom Yorke ,who was born with one eye fixed shut. Yet hardly any of them ever actually sing or write songs about their imperfections explicitly.

Why? I’ve got to mention Ian Dury here, who was a pretty awesome example of someone who became a legend despite being left crippled by childhood polio, and fought back against what he saw as patronising, pitying attitudes with uncompromising 1981 track ‘Spasticus Autisticus’.

Apart from Dury, though, I’ve only ever heard one musician speak up directly about his experiences as a disabled rock boy, and more specifically the shamefully real problem of wheelchair users not actually being able to get in to many venues as punters - and that was Mystery Jets’ Blaine Harrison, writing about his spina bifida in a column for NME about a year or so ago.

Why is this sort of candour so rare? I have a request. You see, I want more disabled people to feel like becoming a musician is totally possible, because it is. If we can have equal opportunities in blood-sucking corporations, why not also the music industry? I urge the more musical of you to do something. Write about it, sing about it, talk about it. Lots. Don’t force me to put down the pen and pick up a guitar. Seriously, you should hear my version of ‘Karma Police’...

24 comments

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Alyonka [Visitor] //November 6 2009 at 20:12
Awesome article.It really gives strength,when your favourite star has got the same misfit as you.I really understand this - I've got very heavy scoliosis that makes me look lopsided
daniel bazan - recife, brazil [Visitor] //November 6 2009 at 21:13
Many of us don´t go to concerts because of advancing age, but we still love alt-music for the music and the message. What difference does it make if an artist is physically handicapped, as long as the music doesn´t suck? That´s what it´s all about, isn´t it?
jessica [Visitor] //November 7 2009 at 00:18
I'm someone on the autistic spectrum and music has in my experiance helped a lot of the people I know with aspergers including myself.musicians like numan and byrne having it make a young person with aspergers etc feel less like a person with a fucked up brain and instead happy through the simple act of singing/picking up an instrument and unleashing all their experiences to a surprised and probably slightly taken aback audience..The reason music nowadays that is in the mainstreem is so nauseating is that its just the same point of view with a different style/voice..more musicians who are singing truthfully about anything from physicial through to neurological disablities should get the recognition they deserve as growing up most folk feel like a misfit anyhoo and if you were born to be one then all the more so.we need bands who make that difference a beautiful thing instead of feeling singing about their experiences would be a bad idea.
tieiruyw [Visitor] //November 7 2009 at 00:37
Very nice site!
steven arseface [Visitor] //November 7 2009 at 17:46
i think you need to look again love
Lee Young [Visitor] //November 7 2009 at 19:20
just a small nit pick, thom yorke was born with a lazy eye, which is not that uncommone, his appearance is due to a botched operation that left that particualr lid paralyzed
Genevieve [Visitor] //November 7 2009 at 20:12
Bradford. Cox.
Sandwell [Visitor] //November 7 2009 at 22:07
Bradford Cox of deerhunter i would put in this category. the man is a true inspiration, he freaked alot of people out for they way he looked when deerhunter first started grabbing attention (he suffers from marfan's syndrome and is incredibly skinny and has long thin limbs). hes also sung alot about dealing with it in his songs
Just a Yankee who got here via Google search [Visitor] //November 7 2009 at 23:25
Well, put down your pen and pick up a guitar and write that song about your disability if it bothers you so much! Considering how truly shitty the music industry is today and how talentless some of today's biggest acts are, I'm pretty sure you can hardly be any worse. Hell, you might even be a breath of fresh air for all we know. And by the way, I assume that you have heard of Beethoven, Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder...
Ceramic Simon [Visitor] //November 8 2009 at 01:23
Outsider rock still going strong undergound. ceramichobs.livejournal.com
ben [Visitor] //November 8 2009 at 20:19
I always loved the lyrics in the Bloc Party song "On" - "you make my tongue loose". As someone who has a stammer, it's a deceptively simple statement that reminds you of Kele Okereke's trouble with his speaking. (Whether the song is about drugs or a person is another thing)
Will [Visitor] //November 9 2009 at 10:02
That teacher was, quite frankly, a cunt. Had he/she ever seen an angel? Hopefully such people aren't allowed thru the door these days.
MLG [Visitor] //November 9 2009 at 12:58
Great piece. I always remember the power of seeing Vic Chesnut line at the Union Chapel. The singer from Sparklehorse also had a tough time at one point
Nazr [Visitor] //November 9 2009 at 14:23
Bradford Cox of Deerhunter and Atlas Sound has Marfan Syndrome.
Matthew [Visitor] //November 9 2009 at 14:54
Morrissey's 'November Spawned a Monster' is beautiful: 'a hostage to kindness and the wheels underneath her... one day she'll walk the streets in the clothes she went out and bought for herself.' A simple plea for independence.
Wrighty [Visitor] //November 9 2009 at 15:23
Forgive me if i'm missing a huge point here being able bodied and mentally stable, but doesn't it occur to anybody else that the very basic reason that people with disabilities don't sing about them is because it would make for some seriously piss poor songs. I mean i'm all for raising awareness on disabilities, especially those that aren't as commonly known but there's obscure channel 4 documentaries for this. Who would honestly wanna hear a song about a dude with one leg longer than the other ?? I mean absolutely no offence to anyone here but NOT ME !!
Badman666 [Visitor] //November 9 2009 at 18:09
ASPERGER'S IS NOT A PHYSICAL IMPAIRMENT! IT ISNT EVEN SOMETHING THAT YOU SHOULD GIVE A DAMN ABOUT. WHO FUCKING CARES IF LADYHAWKE HAS ASPERGERS!!! sorry about the rant, i just get very irritated when people start mentioning asperger's as a disability (i have aspergers and ADHD) also who cares about Thom Yorke's sodding eye! its fine now isnt it!
Lefty [Visitor] //November 9 2009 at 22:20
Wrighty forgive me but you are missing the point and since I am going to accept your assessment of yourself as mentally stable I can only take it that you are lacking in intelligence and insight - so no surprise then about you missing the point - think you should take your able body back into the hole you crawled out of to offer your pathetic views. Brillant article moving and inspiring - go on pick up that guitar!
Tara the Welsh 'oddball' [Visitor] //November 10 2009 at 10:23
Great article! I'm suprised about some of the harsher comments about music/disbaility here, but i enjoyed reading it all the same! I don't think it was written because people are 'bothered', want sympathy, or 'we think we are worse' off because of having a disability, and I have to very much disagree with the suggestion that songs about disability would not be interesting! Obviously it's an interesting subject as it has provoked alot of debate , so the article has done it's job, hoorah! Misfit(able bodied, and less able bodied, and anyone else who fancies coming along for the ride!) Power!... :)
Wrighty [Visitor] //November 10 2009 at 12:31
Lefty calm down - i made a point of saying i wasn't trying to offend anybody - so there's no need to insult me for just offering a different view. I have no problem with people with disabilities still being encouraged to get into playing music - the bit i was questioning was the author going as far as to say she wanted to hear them even sing songs about their disabilities. Are you actually telling me you also want this - if so please explain why but please be polite - people are so quick to get angry and insult people on here, just no need. You can get you're point over and even maybe change peoples way of thinking on here - but not with petty insults.
wrongy [Visitor] //November 11 2009 at 09:57
I'd much rather hear a truthful, passionate song about a man with one leg longer than the other's experience than another awful song about some boring-but-perfectly-formed indie boy's banalities. So- yes I so want to hear people sing about their disabilities. I don't really understand why you wouldn't.
Ian Schultz [Visitor] //November 11 2009 at 21:17
Ian Curtis?
Steven [Visitor] //November 12 2009 at 13:53
Mr. Bradford Cox was the first one to come to my mind too!
Sean Parker [Visitor] //November 16 2009 at 07:37
Like Kele Bloc Party, Rowan Atkinson and sodding Gareth Gates, I've had a debilitating stammer as long as I can remember (even obliging me to change my name) - I do very well as a rock artist out here in Istanbul, but I've never seen how writing about the impediment would have any artistic value, let alone exploiting it as a sales technique a la Gates. Nice article though

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