Got a bit lost en route to the festival yesterday. We took a different route and ended up literally in the desert on a two-lane road with tumbleweed and sand either side and not much else. Major Thelma and Louise moment. Made it to the Motorola camp in time to chat with Klaxons, the New Pornographers, Grizzly Bear and Ratatat, who were definitely one of the buzziest bands at the festival. The singer was sweet. And can we just talk about The New Pornographers for a second and how one of them was in Zumpano, who basically provided the template for The Shins? If you like The Shins, remember this is who they want to be.

At one point we were walking from the outer edges of the carpark to the main stage and out of nowhere we heard a distant ‘Wooooaaaah’ – yup Kaisers are here and they’ve brought their woah’s with them. Ran like the wind to catch some, and then made our way to Klaxons who were fucking AMAZING. Checked out some of Crowded House, which was a bore, we’re sad to report so we bounced back to see Lily Allen and then hung around for Ratatat but the dudes and gals smoking weed behind us made us feel a little ill.

Stopped by Kaisers dressing room and Ricky said he’d just missed out on having his picture taken with Cameron Diaz. Kings Of Leon were still hanging around, and guess what they were doing? Yup. talking to models. Lindsay Lohan (braless) was hanging out in CSS’s little picketed fence area, right next to Klaxons’ of course, and James grabs us and his bag of weed and tells us where the afterparty’s at.

So we head to South Beach nightclub in Palm Desert and it’s the craziest nightclub we’ve ever been. It’s a semi-strip joint kind of vibe with the most ridiculous fake boobs we’ve ever seen, and a patterned carpet. There’s around ten people there, including Lily Allen, Klaxons, Mark Ronson and Lindsay Lohan.

Lohan decides she wants to hook up with James Klaxons and after she gets kicked out for being underage, she sends her security guard back to find James who tells him “Lindsay wants to say goodbye”.

He should have said “Lindsay wants to take you back to her hotel room and do rude things to you”, cos she tried to lure little James back with her. He said no. She sent him a billion text messages. Everyone laughed.

The night ended with us sipping champagne in a hot tub with Jamie Klaxons in a seriously fancy house in a gated community in Rancho Mirage. Can’t think of a better way to clean three days of desert dust off one’s feet. Coachella, it’s been hot.