T In The Park is the anti-Glastonbury.
There’s no baby yoga. “Healing yurts” are thin on the ground. You’ll search in vain for an artfully dilapidated stall selling organic buckwheat pancakes for £7 a pop.
No, the Scottish bash is all about the music. Well, that and the drinking. And the inflatable penises.
Happily, this year’s event was as incident-packed and unpretentious as ever.
Blur played their “last gig”. Lily Allen offered the crowd some oblique sex tips (would it kill her to provide diagrams?) and Bloc Party’s Matt Tong whipped a banana out of his pants, in response to a fan request to glimpse his “dong”.
It was all so sexually charged, in fact, I half expected Seasick Steve to start dry-humping the stage, Vanilla Ice-style.
If you haven’t seen our coverage already, you’ll find backstage video interviews with the likes of Doves, Regina Spektor and The Streets at NME.COM/video – and a bumper T In The Park photo gallery at NME.COM/photos.
But enough plugging of our “content”. What were your highlights of the weekend?