So it’s official: U2 have been forced to cancel their Glastonbury headline performance after Bono sustained a serious back injury (rumour is, he fell off stage after getting too close to The Edge… sorry).
This is bad news, both for those who were genuinely looking forward to the set, and for those less charitable souls who were hoping they might see Bono soldier on and take to the Pyramid Stage in a motorised wheelchair. Or possibly strapped to a gurney. It’d certainly be a talking point.
There was also a brief glimmer of hope that U2 might even find a last-minute replacement for Bono – I had my fingers crossed for Justin Bieber, or failing that, a Vileda Super Mop with a pair of wraparound shades stapled to the front.
But no, U2 will not be strapping on their sexy (wellington) boots at Worthy Farm next month. “I’m heartbroken,” said Bono. “We really wanted to be there to do something really special – we even wrote a song especially for the festival.”
And so now, inevitably, speculation turns to who will replace them on the Pyramid Stage on the Friday night. Twitter is buzzing with crazy-talk about Led Zeppelin stepping in. Jimmy Page has said he wouldn’t “rule it out”, but everyone knows it’s Robert Plant’s call – and you just can’t see it happening.
Surely the most likely candidate is Coldplay. They’re friends with Michael Eavis, have a proven Glasto track record, and you sense Chris Martin just won’t be able to resist playing the hero, stepping in at short notice to save the festival.
So our money’s on Coldplay. But, in an ideal world, who would you like to see replace U2?