These Glastonbury-goers feel like they’ll never be normal again

Glasto blues are setting in. What is real life?

The Glastonbury blues aren’t fictional. They’re a living, breathing horror. And they usually don’t set in until the day after you get back. Lugging a massive bag out of Worthy Farm, that’s fine. Hopping on a coach with a hundred smelly strangers – that’s ok, so long as you get a really greasy meal at a service station. Arriving home just before midnight is glossed over by that first hot shower and deep sleep after getting back.

No, it’s not until life’s supposed to go back to normal when the Glasto blues really kick in. Being made to wake up at 8am again, going back to school or work, forced to pretend that everything is absolutely fine and your head doesn’t feel like it’s a broken poached egg folded in on itself. Watching Glastonbury highlights on iPlayer doesn’t help. Talking to mates about what a brilliant time you had is impossible. Those festival highs are a distant memory, and all you can focus on is remembering how to eat actual food again.

Pretty much everyone who went to Glastonbury is feeling incredibly fragile right now.

Anyone witnessing Glasto-goers returning home first-hand will know these people don’t look ok. They’re shells of humanity. There’s no hope for them.

Kid yourself that the Glasto blues are a myth, they’ll kick in eventually.

They can be staved off for a few hours if you continue the sesh and act like life is one big party. But they will find you.

Especially if that already grim journey home turns into a nightmare.

Painkillers, 12-hour sleeps, the most nutritious meal in the world – not even these can save you.

Imagine the most awful hangover in the world, multiply it by ten, and then go to work. GOOD LUCK!

Abbie made the wise move of booking today off work, but even she’s struggling.

Remember those halcyon days when putting on shoes, making a cup of tea and drinking water wasn’t an absolute, colossal struggle? Nope, us neither.

Don’t worry Scott, this is completely routine.

RIP

Glasto blues are so wild, people are even missing the awful bits.

Seeds are most definitely not the answer.

Good luck everyone. At some point, everything will go back to normal. One day.