The internet thinks that Adele and Sam Smith are the same person

Because of course it does

One’s a British crooner who sings sad songs and shifts records by the bucketload, the other’s… a British crooner who sings sad songs and shifts records by the bucketload. The similarities between Sam Smith and Adele are already quite compelling, and enough to make the suspicious among us wonder if there’s more to those similarities than meets the eye. Like, have you noticed that when one releases an album, the other drops off the radar for a little while? All very convenient, isn’t it?

Adele’s career took before Sam’s and he’s become weary of interviewers asking him about comparisons to his fellow British crooner who sings sad songs and shifts records by the bucketload, but he shouldn’t be too surprised that the subject comes up time and again, given the growing evidence that they are in fact the same actual person.

READ MORE: Sam Smith: the Oscar-winning pop star talks heartbreak, partying and album number two

Exhibit A: this sleuth on Twitter has discovered that if you play Adele’s totes emoshe mega-smash ‘Hello’ at the wrong speed, the song sounds very much like it’s being sung by your friend and mine, Sam Smith.

Chilling stuff. Frightening, chilling stuff. It’s not exactly the same as the rumours that, when you play Led Zeppelin’s ‘Stairway to Heaven’ backwards, it recounts Satanic messages (“Here’s to my sweet Satan”), but enough to make the feeble-minded among us lose some sleep tonight.

Curiously, another enterprising social media private investigator has sped up Sam’s heartfelt weepy ‘Too Good At Goodbyes’ and discovered that it sounds like not like Adele, but that other big-haired superstar, Dolly Parton. The plot thickens. Hard to unravel the mystery around this twist, which is at worst bloodcurdling and at best merely baffling. How did Adele and Sam appear in front of millions of people at the Oscars and not reveal that they’re same person? More on this story as we get it.