The Horrors' Faris Badwan is our World Cup columnist. In his latest post, he looks to England's future after a dismal campaign and asks: what now for the squad?
After the inevitable failure to win a major tournament comes the inevitable clamour for change. Leading the call in the new England manager stakes is Harry Redknapp, who - knowing full well he'd be one of the front-running candidates – says: "I'm not talking about a Scottish manager or an Irish manager, I'm talking about an English manager because this is where we're from, this is our country. We should be able to produce someone who can manage the England football team and let's be honest, they can't do any worse than what [Eriksson and Capello] have done."
So just to clarify, an English manager can't do any worse than Eriksson? The man who managed to reach three consecutive major tournament quarter-finals (WC 2002, Euro 2004, WC 2006). Or Capello? He who inherited a squad in disarray and won nine out of 10 qualifying games?
However poor our World Cup campaign, we at least progressed beyond the group stages. Compare this to some recent English managers…
Kevin 'aren't tactics those little mints?' Keegan, who with a 39% winning record is the least successful permanent England manager of all time. Credentials include: Division One Champions with Newcastle, qualification for the UEFA Cup and taking England to Euro 2000. He also has a perceived inability to deal with pressure…
Steve McLaren: League Cup, UEFA Cup Runner-up, headed to the Dutch Eredivisie league after his England run. Currently waiting with baited breath to hear how his voice will adapt to life in Germany, where he's managing Wolfsburg.
And now to the prospective future candidates.
Harry Redknapp: FA Cup, fourth in the Premier League with Tottenham, has no sense of smell after a car accident in 1990 (insert "my dog has no nose" joke etc).
Sam Allardyce: Consistent top ten finishes with Bolton in his final four seasons, with a high of sixth. Now attempting to repeat the process with Blackburn after a disappointing spell at Newcastle.
Roy Hodgson: 35 years of managerial experience. With Switzerland he reached the second round of World Cup '94 and qualified for Euro 96. UEFA Cup Runner-Up with Inter Milan. Sacked as Blackburn Manager. Qualified for UEFA cup with Viking of Norway. UEFA Cup semi-final with Fulham (and seventh in the Premier League).
Everyone's favourite, Uncle Roy looks like an OK bet. But if you compare his list of achievements with those of Sven or Capello the difference is staggering.
And if you listen to The Sun...
David Beckham: Becks has no coaching credentials whatsoever. Instead, I'll just use the plus point The Sun mentioned: "He could take every ounce of pressure off these fragile England players who are apparently crippled by fear" (ie. he's famous).
So in answer to 'Arry's plea to give our boys a chance… please don't. I'd rather stick with Capello.