If You Agree With These Truths, You Might Be A Festival ‘Superfan’

According to new research, UK festivals are powered by ‘superfans’, a hardcore group of festival devotees who go to four or more festivals every single year. God bless you, superfans. The new survey, run by ticketing site Eventbrite, found out that superfans spend an average of £581 on festivals and account for 28% of a festival crowd – meaning there’s a whole load of them out there. Are you one? If you can see yourself in more than three of the below statements, then you most certainly are. The festival economy salutes you.

You’ve already started planning next year’s festivals


That’s before the line-ups even come out. Line-ups don’t mean much to you, I mean, you go to so many festivals that by the end of the summer you’re likely to have seen every band on the touring circuit that year, so there’s no point picking an event just to see one band. Might as well go to them all and see all of them, yeah?

You have a friend known only as Festival Bob


You see him at every festival you go to. You’re not sure he’s actually really your friend – you’re not sure he’s even really called Bob – but you see him more than some of your family, so he must be, surely?

You have glitter on your face right now


Sure, you put it on weeks ago. At Lovebox, was it? Or maybe Camp Bestival. Could have been Wilderness, tbf. You know as well as any of us though that glitter takes a good month to fully come off. And you go to so many festivals that for a large part of the year there’s always something sparkling upon your person.

You can pack your tent into its bag at the first attempt


You’re very, very good at camping in a grimy British field. However, we’re pretty sure these skills wouldn’t transfer to a proper jaunt into the wilderness, so please don’t attempt to pitch your tatty Quechua up at Base Camp any time soon.

You’re surprised at how cheap burgers, hot dogs and noodles are in real life


What, you mean this stale bap with a limp bit of bacon is actually only £1.50 from a local greasy spoon? Are you quite sure? Even if I’m willing to pay £10 and then be laughed at viciously when I accidentally drop it in the mud and ask if I can have another on the house?

Come mid-September you are flat broke


As soon as the last pint of Bestival is purchased, you are skint for the rest of the year. You basically have to lock yourself in your bedroom until Christmas. And then you buy your Reading ticket. And so the cycle continues. Every. Damn. Year.

You’ve had trenchfoot


No biggie.

Your wrist is a state


You read the reports earlier this year about how keeping your wristbands on after the festival is a health-hazard, due to the massive amounts of bad bacteria they host, but you do not care one jot. You care about Larry from purchasing knowing that you went to Secret Garden Party AND Download, because you’re so very eclectic.

You have a festival coat


It’s covered in mud. It makes you look a bit like Del Boy. It would never be worn anywhere that isn’t a festival. But it’s cosy as fuck and doubles up a pillow. It is your festival coat and it is your joy.

You’ve seen Billy Bragg play about 100 times


When it comes to festivals, the man gets around – just like you, you lovely superfan, you.