Six Things From ‘Slumber Party’ That Happen In Every Single Britney Video

Hair flips, lipgloss, crawling. The new video for 'Slumber Party' just an homage to all of Britney's music video back catalogue?

Grab a wind machine and some fishnet tights: Britney’s hosting a sexy sleepover and we’re all invited. The new video for ‘Slumber Party’ has been released and as per usual, Britney is assassinating the camera with her dance routines, close-up shots and smizing. Britney turns up fashionably late to her party mansion, hangs out with Tinashe on a velour sofa and licks some spilt water (not sure though) off a glass table. It’s so Britney, bitch.

The Britney-ness of ‘Slumber Party’ is a singular, comforting reminder that, even though 2016 has been shit, some things remain the same. ‘Slumber Party’ is not just any old sexy Britney video, it’s an homage to the sexy Britney video art form. Here’s how.

Britney rides in a fancy car

How else is the world’s biggest pop star supposed to get to her party mansion? Or reach out to her horrible boyfriend away from the eyes of the paps? Or turn up at her rich boyfriend’s place to check out his live-in jockey?

‘Slumber Party’, 2016

 

‘Everytime’, 2003

 

‘Radar’, 2007

 

Britney does many hair flips

Britney possesses the most flexible neck muscles in Hollywood. It was the famed hair flipping of ‘Gimme More’ that successfully distracted from the fact that Britney doesn’t do any pole dancing in that video, despite this being pretty much the only plot element. Iconic.

‘Slumber Party’, 2016

‘Gimme More’, 2007

‘I’m A Slave 4 U’, 2001

 

 

Some generic hot guys make a grimacing expression

To be honest none of these models deserve to be in a Britney video when they manage to consistently look so bored/perturbed. Britney is licking a table and you look like you just smelled a bad fart. Are those last two the same guy?

‘Slumber Party’, 2016

 

‘’Til The World Ends’, 2011

 

‘3’, 2009


There are close ups of Britney’s immaculate lipgloss

Federlines and Timberlakes may come and go, but Britney and her nude lipgloss have held a relationship together since 1998. Their breakup would cause more ripples through pop culture than the divorce of Brad and Angelina. It’s sacred, and must be offered up to the camera at regular intervals throughout.

‘Slumber Party’, 2016

 

‘Lucky’, 2000

Also ‘Lucky’, 2000

Just try and imagine Britney in matte lipstick. It’s not possible.

 

Britney’s girl posse shows up out of nowhere for a dance routine

At some point just before the first chorus, Britney summons her posse out of thin air and they get down to the real business: punching the air in unison. But whilst they always give the impression of being Britney’s best gal pals, the question still remains – why is Paris Hilton never there?

‘Slumber Party’, 2016

‘(Hit Me) Baby One More Time’, 1998

‘Piece Of Me’, 2007

Britney does some seductive crawling

She’s done it in a sparkling bodysuit, she’s done it in leather leggings. Now ‘Slumber Party’ sees Ms Spears crawl across the glass table in a pair of thigh high boots, a far more comfortable approach than the diamante body stocking of yesteryear.

‘Slumber Party’, 2016

‘Toxic’, 2003

‘Womanizer’, 2008

 

God bless you, Britney.