Newsflash: this year’s Brits weren’t actually that bad. Yes, they overlooked a whole portion of some of the most exciting British musicians ands sounds by not recognising a single grime artist, but they also managed to get some things right – or at least act as a conduit for some of the night’s highlights, anyway. Fingers crossed 2017 is just as good, but with some real diversity represented too.
Adele used the first available opportunity to show some support for Kesha
The Brits might be a good excuse for a piss-up for all those who attend, but the first award winner of the night took the time to put the spotlight back on something more important than awards and free booze. Of course Adele won British Female Solo Artist (duh), and it was heartwarming to see her use her first acceptance speech at the ceremony to show some love for Kesha, who was recently denied the chance to be freed from her contract with Dr Luke – a man she says raped and abused her. Adele kept it brief, saying only “I’d like to take this moment to publicly support Kesha,” but the gesture was an important one nonetheless.
All of Adele’s acceptance speeches were on point
She swore so much someone whose job is to stop curse words from appearing in the TV broadcast couldn’t keep up and sent a message to astronaut Tim Peake after he sent a video message from the International Space Station (“I hope you’re not too hungry!” Adele told him). Later, she apologised for swearing and for “the ugly cry face” before celebrating not being cut off or swearing more. Every time she stepped on stage was further proof of why she’s one of the best pop stars we’ve got, and Tottenham’s finest export we can think of. Hero.
Tame Impala beat U2 and Alabama Shakes to Best International Group
Alabama Shakes may have reigned victorious at the Grammys, but over here in Britain Kevin Parker’s boys were the ones on top. Also in their category were Major Lazer and Eagles Of Death Metal, so a pretty strong selection of artists all round. If there’s one thing that Tame’s win showed, though, it’s that they’re not all that used to fancy awards ceremonies. Kevin got awfully confused about where to look when accepting the award and then forgot to thank the rest of the band. Lucky they all seem too laid-back to hold a grudge…
Everyone got confused by the 360 degree stage, to be fair
Whether it was Tame, Coldplay or Justin Bieber picking up awards, the circular stage provided some real headaches for the world’s pop stars tonight. You had to feel for the director of the TV broadcast, who must have been tearing their hair out as they frantically found the right camera for the shot, only for whichever winner to turn to face another part of the stage and thus turn their backs on the camera. Guys, there was a podium on stage. Sure, it was black as was the stage, but it can’t have been that camouflaged none of you saw it?
Father John Misty continued his trolling escapades
“My publicist tells me there’s no chance of me winning,” Father John Misty told reporters on the red carpet ahead of tonight’s ceremony, before pulling the face said publicist would pull if he did cause the shock of the century. So, when FJM inevitably did lose out to Justin Bieber and the camera panned to the bearded one’s table, what did he do?
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Oh so forlorn or completely disinterested? Trolling us all (highly likely coming from him) or genuinely heartbroken? We’re going for this being the latest in a line of trolling antics. We just wish he had won so we could see what he’d have done (and his PR’s face) then.
Not being nominated didn’t stop Girli and Rat Boy from getting their faces on the telly
Normally it’s the fans down the front that start waving ecstatically whenever they see a camera look like it might be focusing on them. This year, that task fell to London rapper Girli (dressed all in bright pink, as always) and Essex’s cheekiest Rat Boy (who tweeted earlier “might be the only one not in a suit”). You may have spotted them distracting your eyes from Ant and Dec for a minute, before giddily disappearing behind the tables, then popping back up. Every awards ceremony should have its equivalent of naughty schoolkids at the back of the bus and this pair were the Brits’.
Catfish & The Bottlemen somehow won British Breakthrough Act
We wish we’d put loads of money on this happening because surely we’d be filthy rich by now and typing this with a champagne fountain bubbling in the background instead of picking curdled milk out of our tea. Lesson learnt. Up against Years & Years, Jess Glynne, James Bay and Wolf Alice, Van McCann and his gang managed to be named victorious. How?! The award was voted for by Radio 1 listeners and Twitter users, but we’d still have put good money on Y&Y or Bay coming out on top. While we were praying to all gods ever to have existed (in our heads or otherwise) for a Wolf Al win, Catfish’s moment was worth it if just for the slightly-awkward-but-maybe-ultimately-gentlemanly moment where Van went to shake Cheryl Cole’s hand and then kissed it instead. He looked like an indie prince self-consciously meeting a fairy tale queen. She was in Girls Aloud, though, so I guess she kind of is?
Even with One Direction on a break, the Directioners still haven’t lost heart
One award tonight was decided by the fans during the ceremony. British Video Of The Year was contested by the likes of Ellie Goulding, Adele, Sam Smith, Little Mix and more and battled out via a Twitter vote. It was, perhaps unsurprisingly, One Direction that came out on top in the end, for their clip for ‘Drag Me Down’. Interesting, though, is that, despite their current hiatus and the rumours that they’re never ever ever getting back together, their army of Directioners are still the rabid obsessives to rule them all. We predict that even in 2058 when 1D are wrinkly and grey, the Directioners will still be going strong, lividly threatening anyone who dare slag off Harry Styles’ hair and winning every fan vote in existence.
Kids’ TV presenter Dave Benson Phillips is somehow involved in Tame Impala’s label
Yep, the guy who used to be responsible for kids “gunging” the adults in their lives on CBBC’s Get Your Own Back seems to have some sort of involvement with Fiction Records. Or at least that’s the impression he gave when he tweeted his congratulations to Tame Impala earlier tonight. “Well done @tameimpala for winning a #BRITs2016 award. One of our @FictionRecords acts! Totally pleased for you!!” he wrote. Praying he’s part of the A&R department and gets the gunge out for those responsible for any unsolicited demos that don’t take his fancy.
It might not have been as bland as years gone by, but Liam Gallagher still wasn’t happy
Trust Liam G to always have a strong opinion on things. He voiced his dissatisfaction with this year’s reflection on music in his usual eloquent (and hilarious) style. From tweeting “Henry the 8th eat your heart out” around the time Ant and Dec sat down with Critics’ Choice winner Jack Garratt to concluding that “music in the UK has been abducted by massive cunts”, the former Oasis and Beady Eye man was on sparkling form yet again.