10 Empowering lyrics from Cardi B’s intense new album ‘Invasion of Privacy’

Hustle hard for diamonds, money and sex

Praise the lord, our great President-in-waiting Cardi B has finally dropped her debut album. It’s called ‘Invasion of Privacy’, and it’s a beautiful ode to money, sex, and dismissing haters (tips I must remember when I next open my Twitter mentions).

Having listened to this album approximatelly five times since it dropped this morning, I’ve picked up some important lessons: love your pussy and dump any bloke who doesn’t, get rich and wear diamonds if at all possible, and be a full-time bad bitch. Need proof of Cardi’s empowering credentials? Read on.

1. Get Up 10

Went from making tuna sandwiches to making the news

I started speaking my mind and tripled my views

Real bitch, only thing fake is the boobs

Takeaway message: Quit your insta affectation and speak your truth.

2. Drip

Is she a stripper, a rapper or a singer?

I’m busting bucks in a Bentley Bentayga

Ride through your hood like “Bitch, I’m the mayor!”

You not my bitch, then bitch you are done

Takeaway message: Stop putting Cardi in a box and bow down to the chick running shit.

3. Bickenhead

Pop that pussy on the pole, pop that pussy on the stove

Make that pussy slip and slide like you from the 305

Put your tongue out in the mirror, pop that pussy while you drive

Spread them asscheeks open, make that pussy crack a smile

Takeaway message: Love yourself. In every conceivable way.

4. Bodak Yellow

I be in and out them banks so much, I know they’re tired of me

Honestly, don’t give a fuck ’bout who ain’t fond of me

Dropped two mixtapes in six months, what bitch working as hard as me?

Takeaway message: [Less a message, more an observation – imagine making so much cash that your local bank branch manager got sick of you. Imagine.]

5. Best Life

“Cardi B is so problematic” is the hashtag

I can’t believe they wanna see me lose that bad

They talking junk and they stink, these hoes mad trash

I’m giggling, can’t let the devil have the last laugh

Ain’t no more beefing, I’m just keeping to myself

I’m my own competition, I’m competing with myself

Takeaway message: Just remember that behind every angry Twitter troll, is a sad person sitting alone in their pants. 

6. I Like It

Now I like dollars, I like diamond

I like stunting, I like shining

I like million dollar deals

Where’s my pen, bitch I’m signin’

Takeaway message: Be a strong independent woman who knows what she wants (millions of dollars.)

7. She Bad

I’m a boss in a skirt

I’m a dog, I’m a flirt

Write a verse while I twerk

I wear off-white at church

Prolly make the preacher sweat

Read the Bible, Jesus wept

Takeaway message: Identity is multi-facted, you can be many things at once, and multi-tasking is good.

8. I Do

I think us bad bitches is a gift from God (gift from God)

I think you broke hoes need to get a job (get a job)

Now I’m a boss, I write my own name on the cheques (Cardi)

Pussy so good, I say my own name during sex

Takeaway message: The big man upstairs loves Cardi, Offset loves Cardi, and Cardi loves Cardi.

9. I Do (strike two)

Look, broke hoes do what they can (can)

Good girls do what they told (told)

Bad bitches do what they want (they want)

That’s why a bitch is so cold

I’m a gangsta in a dress, I’m a bully in the bed

Only time that I’m a lady’s when I lay these hoes to rest

Takeaway message: Why be good when you could be Cardi?

 

10. I Do (yeah, it’s the third quote but it’s a really good song)

Leave his texts on read, leave his balls on blue

Put it on airplane mode so none of those calls come through

Takeaway message: Always leave them wanting more. #WasteHisTime2k18.

And finally a special mention for this A* lyric from ‘She Bad’:

I need Chrissy Teigen

Know a bad bitch when I see one (yeah, woo)

Tell Rih-Rih I need a threesome

Takeaway message: Cardi B has superb taste.