This week, we’ve all been talking about Naked Attraction, the controversial new Channel 4 dating show which somehow managed to show us 282 shots of penises in 48 minutes. That’s a hefty helping of male member for anyone’s retinas, but compared to these shocking moments from the murkiest corners of British broadcasting history, Naked Attraction could almost seem wholesome.
Keith Chegwin strips down to his birthday suit for Naked Jungle
When this one-off gameshow aired in June 2000, two million of us – then a record for Channel 5 – tuned in to watch a load of nudists competing in the buff on the same assault course that was used for kids’ TV show Jungle Run. Eww. Though it was criticised by culture secretary Chris Smith in the House of Commons, the Independent Television Commission (ITC) said it actually only received one complaint from a viewer, who apparently told them he “could do without Keith Chegwin prancing around”. Cheggers, bless him, has since called it “the worst career move I’ve made in my entire life”.
Joan Rivers drops the F-bomb on Loose Women
Before the late, great comedian branded Russell Crowe a “fucking piece of shit” on ITV’s lunchtime discussion show, she warned the show’s producers, “Get ready to bleep this!” The only problem? Loose Women goes out 100% live, so there was no time to conceal her cussing. The show then cut to an unplanned ad break and Rivers was asked to leave the studio, prompting her to tell MailOnline the next day, “No-one told me the TV show Loose Women was a reality show that I would be voted off… Yes I swore and I’m so fucking sorry.”
Every terrible phallus-based challenge on Something For The Weekend
Not to be confused with the bantsy Sunday morning chat show, this bantsy Friday night gameshow aired on Channel 4 for two series at the turn of the millennium. One allegedly lolzy challenge saw a woman try to identify her boyfriend’s penis from an identity parade of appendages; another, which appears below, involved a woman matching guys’ nicknames for their intimate bits – “Mini Me”, “Hercules” etc. – to the peckers in question. “At the time, I thought it was funny,” host Denise Van Outen recalled in 2004. “It wasn’t until the work dried up that I realised it probably wasn’t.”
Big Brother‘s Kinga gets intimate with a wine bottle
We all know what happens here, poor Kinga will probably never live it down, and if you really need to watch it again, feel free to do so below.
Those weird dares people used to do on The Word
The zeitgeisty ’90s show parodied the “anything to be on TV” mentality of the era with its regular strand ‘The Hopefuls’, in which ordinary Joes and Josephines would do something utterly disgusting in exchange for a few precious seconds of air time. The clip of someone stepping in shoes filled with dog muck is so gross, it’s actually been banned from YouTube. But worry not, because you can still watch someone else licking sweat out of a chubby dude’s belly button below.