Do you remember how, as a kid, you’d while away hours and hours of time – time that could’ve been conceivably used for the better (beavering away studying to become the doctor/accountant/academic-type that your parents always wished you’d become; helping old ladies cross the street; learning how to be at one with nature) – on a video game? Sunshine, be gone: there’s a new boss to defeat, a new level to reach, a great sense of satisfaction to realise.
The goal of mastering a video game is a tough task, but YouTube speedrunner – the term used for someone who dedicates their life to completing games in the fastest time possible (without cheating, of course) – Darbian positively laughs in the face of such challenges. Having decided to ace the pioneering Super Mario Bros. game from 1985 – the sight of the green warp pipes, Goombas should be more than enough source material to transport you back to your childhood – on the so-vintage-it-hurts NES, he decided on Wednesday to film himself completing the game in world record time.
And that’s precisely what he managed to do, smashing the world record (that he’d previously set) for completing the game to smithereens – and by that, we mean a mammoth 167 milliseconds. Registering an incomprehensible time of 4:57.260, the American jumped, squashed and sprinted his Italian charge all the way to the finish line in record speed – it’s worth a watch just to see the priceless look of delighted astonishment that he exhibits over his triumph.
It’s a truly impressive feat: notice how he times every jump across blocks and warp pipes to precision, for instance. And OK, so maybe he didn’t complete every world in the game, but those warp pipes that help you skip ahead a level or four are there for a reason, right?
Darbian’s victory speech went as thus: “I have reached my potential in this category – I’m done! My quest is over.” Bravo, sir.