Has Liam Gallagher retired? We ask only because he keeps suggesting he has. We ask only because no-one seems quite sure exactly what it is that the former Oasis frontman is actually doing with his days now. We ask because we care.
First, Liam slipped a subtle allusion to his employment status into a glorious four-tweet barraged against the Brit Awards.
Music in the UK has been abducted by massive cunts THE END LG x
— Liam Gallagher (@liamgallagher) February 24, 2016
Thank fuck I got out when I got out out LG x
— Liam Gallagher (@liamgallagher) February 24, 2016
“Thank fuck I got out when I got out when I got out”: words to chill the blood of any Britpop fan. Yet no-one really clocked the implication at the time, as we were mainly enjoying the fact that he compared beardy singer-songwriter Jack Garratt to Henry VIII.
Henry the 8th eat your heart out Ha ha LG x
— Liam Gallagher (@liamgallagher) February 24, 2016
But, OK, fine – it’s not like that’s conclusive evidence. Perhaps he just meant he was avoiding the hoopla and noise of the music biz, and was quietly making plaintive folk records in a cabin in rural Oregon or Wisconsin or something. Oh, but yesterday The Sun reported that Liam recently spoke to a fan in a “garbled way” and said: “I am retired now. I can write 25 songs but all of them will be a shit (sic).”
We contacted Liam’s representative on this grave matter, who told us: “In true tabloid style it’s not true.”
But if he’s not retired, what’s he working at? Beady Eye split in 2014, which must have been a blow because the singer was enjoying the continuation of his rock’n’roll lifestyle. In 2013, he told NME: “When they come round and say, ‘What hotels do you want?’, you don’t say, “Shit ones, please!’. I don’t go on the road to come back with a big pot of money. I go on the road to have a great time, do great gigs and enjoy being in a band. And that means staying in good hotels and shit like that.”
He still has his fashion label, Pretty Green, which is very much in the pink, but he owns only a 35% share of the business and doesn’t design the clothes. So that’s hardly a full-time job. Instead, Liam seems to be on a permanent holiday – take the enjoyably foul-mouthed trip he took around Belize in January.
Lions don't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep LG x pic.twitter.com/iBrk5nUGxU
— Liam Gallagher (@liamgallagher) January 10, 2016
Of course, that trip was forensically documented via his Twitter feed, which he’s spent a lot of time curating lately. When he’s not live-tweeting his enjoyment of Sex Pistols, he’s having a go at estranged brother Noel, who recently made a viral Carpool Karaoke-style clip, which Liam revelled in taking down:
Just seen that clip of little n large on there way to the match God give me strength LG x
— Liam Gallagher (@liamgallagher) March 4, 2016
In fact – it’s obvious, isn’t it? Liam Gallagher hasn’t retired, he’s just become our favourite full-time troll. And, by God, he’s good at it.