The other day we got sent some cereal. Attached was a press release so bizarre and pretentious we can only assume that Kellogg’s were embracing some new trend of reverse psychology PR and were hoping we’d take the piss out of it, it would go viral and become some edible version of “The Hoff” for post-ironic students. Well, OK Kellogg’s, you win. We’re writing about the only cereal that “surfs the youth culture wave”. Unfortunately, in our opinion K Rave tastes like shit and it inflamed our intern’s IBS. So, no one buy it, just click through and read the press release, then forget it even exists.
It’s worth noting that this ketamine-themed cereal has the spookily rape-ish slogan “Dare to unleash the predator in you!” and the box is covered in milk sperms. Anyway, enjoy this amazing piece of PR…
KRAVE: A New Breed Of Cereal
Kellogg’s is launching a new breakfast cereal aimed specifically at the 16-24 youth market. It’s the first cereal ever to be targeted at the so-called Generation Y.
Whilst energy drinks and extreme sports brands regularly indulge the youths of today, Kellogg’s Krave will be the first ever breakfast cereal to surf the youth wave market.
Krave is a box of perfectly formed cereal parcels filled with delicious hazelnut chocolate. It’s the chocolate cereal for adults that deliver the ultimate taste sensation whatever time of the day.
Whether it’s an afternoon treat in the office, a quick hunger fix after a night in the pub or for breakfast the following morning, Krave hits the spot.
[Pusher] from Krave said, ‘Once you’ve tried Krave you’ll want nothing else. Its crunchy outer shell combined with its tasty chocolate centre creates the ultimate taste sensation in the mouth. We hope that people who live their lives by their own rules will be fans, because this really is the cereal that breaks the norm.”
Krave is available at all major supermarkets at an RRP of £2.49. Selected retailers will be offering the product at an introductory price of £1. Please see in-store for price variations.
Don’t believe it’s a real press release? Click here to see the original.
Just to reiterate: NEVER BUY THIS CEREAL. Have a banana instead.