Indie Bands Love Twitter – It’s Just A Shame They Don’t Have Anything To Say

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“This Twitter shit is changing the world,” typed Jon McClure the other day. “Using… mobile phones, the internet and laptops, tools of venture capitalism…[is] like fucking them with their own dildos.”

Pic: Danny North

The Rev’s right. When Iran failed to censor the microblogging site, Twitter became Tehran’s lifeline to the outside world: citizens began urgently posting photos of huge demonstrations and bloodied protestors against their government’s wishes.

Meanwhile, a rock’n’roll war is raging, but our musical dignitaries are using Twitter to sling 140-character mud pies at each other.

“When are you going to make a decent record again?” offered Alan McGee to Brian Eno, “the last one was in 1972, cunt.”

“Fuck off, wanker,” replied Eno.

And while we all sniggered when Liam Gallagher called Tom Clarke a “Little fucker,” on the site, it’s become clear that bands on Twitter are either devastatingly boring or artlessly outspoken. I can’t decide which is the bigger crime.

As Razorlight invade Europe, all they seem capable of reporting is their coordinates at any given moment: “We’re in Zurich/Milan/Brussels.” Although it is comforting to know Monsieur Borrell is at least several countries away, the band have somehow made a rock’n’roll tour sound boring.

If like McClure suggests, Twitter can change the world, bands will have to use the website as a powerful medium of propaganda.

Like Fred Durst, who replies to almost every Tweet from fans, sometimes numbering fifty a day. Like Lily Allen, who uses the site to hand out free gig tickets to fans, while Mike Skinner, recently topped that by offering up £100 he found in an old pair of jeans, (oh, and almost all of his album, pre-release date.)

This is all so exciting it actually makes up for watching Mark Ronson bickering with Perez Hilton on the website, which in places is made up of cowardly bickering or pointless offal.

Like on June 14th, as riot police and Basij hardliner militia attacked the University of Tehran student dormitory, jailing 150 students and killing one, Al from Hot Chip had only this to give to Twitter: “Nothing to say today.”

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