Funeral Party – ‘Just Because’
I am in Australia now and in a rush to the airport to catch a flight to Japan, so I only had time to listen to this song once. But I did listen, and I was virtually unaffected. The first minute has some dynamics and, dare I say, delicate moments which got me interested to hear the big chorus that never really came. The song sounds like it could have been a filler track on an Avril Lavigne album. Music for the sake of music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAYAgK1v5Qk&hl=en&fs=0&rel=0&autoplay=0&showsearch=0&showinfo=0&iv_load_policy=0

Goldhawks – ‘Keep The Fire’
If I were a pregnant, overweight, Christian, alcoholic woman living in Nebraska I’m sure I would love this track. I don’t mean to be so dramatic, but when I hear a song like this I get so angry. Furious. I mean, what is this guy talking about? Keep WHAT fire? And WHY? And who is WE? I can’t believe this is even happening.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGbC8NYeCQc&hl=en&fs=0&rel=0&autoplay=0&showsearch=0&showinfo=0&iv_load_policy=0

Grinderman – ‘Heathen Child’
I would never listen to this kind of music of my own free will, but it was an interesting listen and the song definitely paints a picture and puts out a mood, which I think is important when writing a song. I don’t understand this track, but I do think it has some cool sounds on it (some of it actually reminds me of Silver Apples). I do have to ask the question: do we really need yet another rock song about a girl being all fucked up and naughty? We get it. We all get it.

Kanye West – ‘Power’
You know I do enjoy Kanye West at times. His songs can be very potent and make you feel a little bit of something. Other times, he seems lost. ‘Power’, sadly, is just a bit too linear for a pop single. It’s a great loop and I enjoy the timelessness of Kanye’s production, but there is nothing dynamic about this track. On the other hand, this could have been made 10 years ago or 10 years into the future – a quality I strive for and don’t always reach. But as a single? I dunno… I don’t understand the world anymore.

Lissie – ‘Cuckoo’
There is absolutlely nothing of value here on this track. It’s just another stock song totally lacking in humanity. Read a book instead.

You Me At Six – ‘Stay With Me’
NME, you made the mistake of sending me the video to this song – it made me giggle with confusion. I don’t know how these bands get deals. I don’t know how something so bland can be even considered good on any level. This song, this video and this band are all a part of the problem. God save us all.

Click here for the band’s video guide to their debut album.

This article originally appeared in the August 28 issue of NME

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