NME columnist, Katherine Ryan’s got something to say.

Piers Morgan sparked the best and most confusing firestorm on Twitter last week when he made a comment about Susan Sarandon’s cleavage. I’m often asked for my views on Mr Morgan; I don’t know what the connection is, except maybe we’re both outspoken? We both have Irish dads? I guess they ask because it’s expected my answer will be that Piers Morgan is a smug, bloated, tabloid-spawning, ham-faced, nefarious, prying miscreant.

Although I do think he resembles David Cameron (he could play him in a movie or something), I’ve got nothing against the man. He’s quite funny and he’s had beef with Jeremy Clarkson. HEAR THIS, READER: any enemy of Jeremy Clarkson is a friend of mine.

Susan Sarandon, the BAFTA- and Academy Award-winning actress, UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador and humanitarian, attended The Screen Actors Guild Awards in LA, where she was nominated for an Outstanding Performance award for a her role in The Secret Life Of Marilyn Monroe. But because she’s a woman, that gets Daily Mail-ified into something like ‘Desperate 69-Year-Old Mother of Three Audaciously Leaves the House With Some of Her Body Showing’. Ms Sarandon wore a white suit and under that she wore a black bra that peeked out. I’ve seen this look on Jennifer Aniston and I’ve worn it myself. It’s tailored and chic! But on this occasion, the internet WAS NOT HAVING IT.

Online, men and women lashed out, one calling the display of cleavage ‘RACK-DICULOUS’, others deciding Ms Sarandon should know better at her age. Others sided with the actress by pointing out that a woman so accomplished should do and wear whatever the fuck she likes.

Piers Morgan threw his opinion into the didn’t-ask-for-it heap and declared the outfit inappropriate on the grounds that Ms Sarandon presented the SAG ‘In Memoriam’ tribute to the stars Hollywood lost in the past year. He reasoned that if you wouldn’t wear it to a funeral, then it was improper for this too.

The thing is, I would wear this outfit to a funeral. Because you know who cares very little about tits? Dead people. They’re notoriously difficult to offend.

We are all guilty of unconscious bias and this is absolutely an example of ageism. We live in a society where a 69-year-old’s pair of boobs cause more scandal than two poisonous bags of silicone stuffed into an 18-year- old’s chest muscle and stitched just outside her beating heart.

Twitter responded to Mr Morgan in the most peculiar way. Women from all over the world began sending him photos of their own cleavage as… punishment? I hate to say it, but we just can’t resist a selfie. Ladies, stand down! If you really want to wind up Piers Morgan, send him a pic of Jeremy Clarkson. Now there’s a right tit.

And another thing…

How are people still working with Terry Richardson? Allegations of sexual assault aside, his style of photography is as follows: turn on a big bright light, get a woman as naked as possible and shoot. This is punk rock, man! He uploads short videos of models dancing to his Vimeo channel Terry TV, appears in the clips and credits himself as the director. He often cameos in his own photography sessions and his vibe in those just creeps me out. Rita Ora just did a shoot with him, appearing topless, squatting, grabbing her crotch, sucking her finger, oh, and licking Richardson’s face. Then I saw pictures from a job he did with The Weeknd. But that dude got to keep his
clothes on…