It's been quite a month for Lady Gaga. Last week she declared a 'pop emergency' when snippets from her new single 'Applause' leaked over the weekend. She accused the man who used to call her 'wifey', Perez Hilton, of stalking her in a hysterical Twitter spat and, if that wasn't enough, one of her fans is offering oral sex to get 'Applause' to number one in a Craigslist promotional campaign. In the midst of all this chaos arrives her new music video, the first for a couple of years. And it is... completely batshit crazy. Not in a conventional Gaga-crazy-meat-dress-grey-hair-blah-blah-zzz sense - genuinely, curiously strange. Even if you don't buy Gaga's new turn as a Warholesque avant-garde icon, here are some of the best moments.
In another scene from the video Lady Gaga wears a bra, necklace and pants fashioned out of black-gloved hands. And who wouldn't want pants made out of an arm? But this is an even better moment. A reference to Botticelli's 'Birth Of Venus' hipstered up to the present day, Gaga wears her hair long, blonde and wavy with sea shells covering her privates. Bravo.
One of the 12 costumes changes Gaga undergoes during the video is into a woman in a dress made of grass-green mosaic tiles, skunk-style hair and trousers made from shards of glass. Absolutely normal... until she turns to display a the tail of a unicorn - not a horse, puh-lease - made from L.E.D lights.
In this guise, Gaga is a candid mime, face cleansed from maquillage and cloaked in black. Derobed from the shackles of man, the baubles and ornaments she must wear to get the 'applause'. She is nothing but her skin and bare talent. Oh, except an absolutely massive marshmallow-shaped blow-up pillow.
Perhaps the greatest moment of Gaga's return, she reminds us that a forwards, or indeed a backwards, roll is not just for the school gym when you're seven. Oh no. She shows that it's a valid method of getting from A to B. Encore.
Cher? Kate Bush? Xena, the warrior princess? Who knows where the inspiration came from for this incarnation. All you need to know if this: she has another leg sticking out of her bum.
Oh, but this is wonderful, and will surely rank alongside Kanye's obnoxious 'hurry up with my damn croissants' as a pop culture moment of the year. Lady Gaga with her head on a black swan. It appears as she sings "one second I'm a Koons, then suddenly the Koons is me" though she's put a twist on Jeff Koons' inflatable balloon swans, emerging from an egg covered in fur. Of course.
And another one.