Disability! Lesbianism! Bestiality! Product placement! There are few lengths Lady Gaga won’t go to in her pursuit of a new viral, so today’s announcement of an impending clip for ‘Born This Way’ was cause for some excitement (or at least a peek towards YouTube at 4pm). And while the majority of the new video is just her in a bikini / dressed as a skeleton dancing and indulging in obligatory orgy scenes, the beginning is quite enlightening.
In an extended intro that’s part Sin City and part The Fountain, Mother Monster tells us all a story about some celestial births on G.O.A.T., a government owned alien territory in space, which spawn a new human race that “will have no prejudice or judgement but boundless freedom".
So what of this bizarre new world? Well, it seems to be guarded by Little Boots' unicorns and triangular forcefields, so LB might want to join Madonna at the small plagiarism claims court.
In a space-age hospital, identical twin midwives basically fist you in the lady garden while you're locked up in stirrups nicked from Ann Summers.
The resulting child comes out looking like a soft-boiled egg in a condom.
Gradually they morph in their mucus and blossom into transvestite Beethovens.
Although sometimes they come out evil and all electrified skeleton.
They multiply into a thousand Gagas.
Although their third eye seems to have slipped down the face a bit.
But it doesn't matter, because even if you grow up into a demonic Alice Grass/Marilyn Manson/Kryten hybrid with Jackie from the 1990s' teeth and a tendency to cry in public, it's OK - cos baby you were born this way.
In other trivial internet-stopping news, Gaga died her fringe. What do you think of the new video?