We’re listening to the newly remastered Oasis albums in the NME office today (Sorry, Liam) and thinking about the best and worst Oasis lyrics. Though Noel Gallagher knows how to pen a great verse, there’s more than a few absolute stinkers in the Oasis canon. Here’s some favourites just from ‘Supersonic’:

“You make me laugh. Give me your autograph”

“I know a girl called Elsa. She’s into Alka Seltzer”

“She’s sniffing in a tissue, selling the Big Issue”

And don’t forget:

Hey you! Up in the sky
Learning to fly
Tell me how high
Do you think you’ll go

Before you start falling
Hey you! Up in a tree
You want to be me
But that couldn’t be

Anyway, it got us thinking: what would Noel do with opening lines from classic poetry? Here’s a few suggestions to start you off – add your verses in the comments below or using #Oasispoetrymashup.

Williams Blake’s ‘And Did Those Feet In Ancient Time’

And did those feet in ancient time
Kick the face off a stupid mime
For sounding like that shite band Haim
In the sunsheyiiiine

William Wordsworth’s ‘I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud’

I wandered lonely as a cloud
In a fookin’ massive crowd
But it was way too fookin’ loud
I fookin’ hate that George O’Dowd

Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s ‘Kubla Khan’

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan a stately pleasuredome decree
‘Cause he wants to be free
Just like me
But that couldn’t be
‘Cause he isn’t me
Far as I can see
Come to mine for tea?

Over to you.