You Can Now Find Out Your Patronus Animal On Pottermore (Though I Wish I Hadn’t)

The wait is over, Potter fans. J.K Rowling can now tell you what your Patronus would be.

In a recent update to the Rowling Harry Potter fansite Pottermore, users can now take a quiz to find out which spirit animal would defend them against the Dementors.

The quiz takes the format of multiple rounds in which users are presented with three words and have to select which word they are most naturally drawn towards. The process is timed, so you don’t have long to think about your choice. If you take too long, a pop up remarks that you’re too slow; a Dementor could have attacked you in that time. The quiz ends, and you have to start again.

I’ve always thought my Patronus would be a hedgehog. They’re small, but spiky, aren’t overly sociable, and bury themselves in the ground when they get cold/uncomfortable.

Sadly, my results didn’t turn up the hedgehog. I didn’t even get something cool like a bat, or valiant like a horse.

No ladies and gentlemen, I got a Chow Dog; a breed so overly domesticated and genetically wrong that the British Veterinary Association has called their very existence a cause of “increased animal suffering”.

Even Ron’s Jack Russell Terrier would have been better than this.

You can find out your Patronus over on Pottermore now. Personally, I think I’m going to wait to find out my Daemon instead.