Remember when the primary function of your phone was texting, browsing and making calls, back in the dark days before Pokémon Go? It’s a hazy memory. Pokémon Go has well and truly taken over the world, and is now more popular than Twitter, Netflix, and Spotify. We’ve all found a harmless (maybe) new hobby and we’re getting more exercise than ever before. Life is good.
But not everybody is rapt with the desire to catch ’em all. You’ve probably experienced more than one busybody tutting in your ear as you pause on the street to snare a Rattata. Comedian Russell Kane is that busybody, but he’s not tutting in your ear, he’s practically apoplectic with rage. In a new two-minute video, posted as part of his vlog series ‘Kaneing’, Kane admits that he downloaded the app (unsubtely referred to as ‘Pokétwat’ on the chalkboard behind his head) last night, and “smashed [him]self in the face with a hammer afterwards”.
“If you’re 12, have fun playing,” he barks. “If you’re over 25, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YA DOING?” He calls the app the “tragic final stage of the hipster” – then does a stock hipster impersonation and obligatory soy latte reference. He proceeds to rant about Pokémon Go being a dreadful symptom of the “world melting” with a snap cutaway of “she-lizard” Theresa May at 0:49, but I’ll let you watch that bit for yourself. If you’re using earphones, turn them down – he’s as angry as Mankey, the poor fellow.