Is Taylor Swift really, actually an Illuminati clone of Zeena LaVey, the daughter of Anton Lavey, the man who founded the Church of Satan in 1966? The woman who published a book called Demons of the Flesh: The Complete Guide to Left Hand Path Sex Magic?
Well, no, obviously she’s probably not.
But the theory has been doing the rounds recently.
The whole concept seems to hinge on the fact that the two women look a bit similar.
A photo posted by Sarah (@sarahwoloszyn) on
And yeah, they do look quite alike, but so do Dean Gaffney and David Gandy, and no-one reads any funny business into that.
For the avoidance of doubt, let us explore the ways in the ‘Shake It Off’ singer is almost certainly not an illuminati clone of the daughter of Anton LaVey, the man who founded the Church of Satan.
Zeena probably would have said something
Zeena LaVey, now known as Zeena Schreck, was a spokesperson for the Church of Satan between 1985 and 1990, during which time she was a charismatic and fairly prominent media figure. She quit the church in 1990 (yes, a year after Taylor’s birth, but calm down) and became a tantric Buddhist. She has no reason to protect the Church of Satan’s secrets, and might either go public or demand a million or so if the biggest pop star in the world had stolen her face.
There has never been a human clone
Conspiracy theorists will laugh this off as naïve. To which we say: conspiracy theorists, look at the facts. Scientists in America first cloned a tadpole in 1952. Then, famously, came Dolly the sheep in 1996. Yet the closest we came to a human clone was in 1997, when scientists created a monkey facsimile from another monkey. Humanity has made a monkey facsimile but never a human clone. It has, though, made a human meme (that’s Drake).
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Clones are gnarly, anyway
Like, they don’t work properly. Around one in 100 clones is a success – that’s why Dolly was such big news. Due to imperfections in the cloning process, they often have weird-sized organs that don’t entirely function. As a result, they commonly need to be euthanised for their own good, which is why cloning is widely considered unethical (it’s banned outright by the UN and in eight US states). The point: Taylor Swift sings, dances and dates like an absolute badass. She is grossly successful for a human being, let alone a test tube creature doomed crawl through life on malformed knees.
The take-home point from the ‘Bad Blood’ video is not its Illuminati message
To the left #TaylorSwift to the right #ZeenaLaVey. Let’s not overlook the uncanny resemblance between the two. Some say it’s her #clone. The illuminati is known for doing this. They clone successful and influential people that will continue to carry out their sinister agenda for mankind ( keanu Reeves, mark zuckerberg, many other celebs) look into it. The video #badblood itself has a lot of satanic symbols and messages. Here it shows “catastrophe” (swift ) kicked out the window by “arsyn” ( #SelenaGomez). Then it shows swift getting her body reconstructed making her superhuman or maybe immortal. Hebrew #gematria word value for “zeena Taylor bad blood” is “identical twins” with a number value at “1330” which “33” is obviously associated with the illuminati. “Catastrophe” has an English #gematria word value of ” devil horns” and “keanu Reeves” Coincidence?? “Arsyn” has a word value for “hexagram” and “funeral” ( swift appeared dead in the video ). #musicindustry #Rapindustry #fucktheelite #fuckthegovernment #Fuckthesystem #killuminati #newworlddissorder #ForbiddenKnowledge #exposingthetruth #exposed #MURIKKKA #nasalies #Flatearth #populationcontrol #angenda21 #entertainmentindustry #hollyweird #hellywood #politics #obama #hillary #berniesanders #DonaldTrump #presidentialelection
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You look at this demented Instagram post and all you come away thinking is: fucking hell that is a good music video.
The theory makes literally no sense
Let’s take another look at that Instagram post. “The Illuminati is known for [cloning people],” it reads, confidently. “They clone successful and influential people that will continue to carry out their sinister agenda on mankind.” Cool, but why do these people need to be clones? Cloning is expensive and unpredictable. Why can’t the Illuminati Satanists just nurture successful actual humans? Come to think of it, how is Taylor furthering the cause of Satanism by being super-good at pop songs? She doesn’t promote Satanism; she promotes good times and short-term relationships. And we can all, surely, raise devil horns to that.