Frak! After four-series of some of the most consistently exciting, intelligent and emotive television ever made, this Friday sees the US broadcast of the last ever episode of the rebooted ‘Battlestar Galactica’…
Far and away my favourite television show in recent years, my sadness at seeing the series conclude is somewhat consoled by the promise of future TV movies and 2010’s scheduled series prequel ‘Caprica’. But I will download the final episode (What? You expect me to wait until the UK Sky1 broadcast a week today?) with a heavy heart. Okay, I like sci-fi, but Battlestar, at its very best, was something more universal than that – it was ‘The West Wing’, and ‘Star Trek’, and ‘Star Wars’ come to think of it, and, I dunno, ‘Dallas’. If you’re late to the series, don’t read on, go buy the series sets and work your way through the emotional rollercoaster ride ahead. You’ll thank me when you’re done.
Ronald D. Moore’s intergalactic opus will end by wrapping up the second part of last weeks answer-dodging ‘Daybreak’, which is rumoured to be a two, perhaps three hour episode. It’s a good job too, as there’s still seemingly an infinite amount of loose ends to tie up. What follows are the five questions I really want an answer to. That said, my feeling is those loose ends won’t especially be tied up, but shredded to smithereens.
1. WHY IS STARBUCK’S DEAD BODY ON EARTH?
Okay, so after going a bit nuts, flying her Viper into a black hole, exploding, all to a soundtrack of Lee ‘Apollo’ Adama sobbing his eyes out… Kara ‘Starbuck’ Thrace came back at the end of season three in a new Viper not known to the Battlestars’ crew. She’s a Cylon right? Apparently not. But she did see her dead body, dog tags round her neck and all, in the wreckage of her original Viper back on Earth. Um… and why does the Hybrid/Anders keep banging on about her being the “harbinger of death. The one who will lead humanity to its end…” Gulp!
2. WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH THE FRAKIN’ KID?
Hera is the Human-Cylon hybrid child between Sharon ‘Athena’ Agathon (a number 8 model) and Karl ‘Helo’ C. Agathon, the first child ever conceived in a union between the two species and thereby the principal hope for a future where Cylons and Humans don’t nuke the shit out of each other. Currently she’s in the possession of Brother John Cavil, the nasty number one Cylon model after being whisked away by treacherous number 8, Sharon ‘Boomer’ Valerii. Cavil wants to dissect her and study her. The majority of the Battlestar crew, on route to save her, just want to know why she keeps popping up in the dying Presidents Opera house dreams, transcribing music Starbuck heard as a kid and drawing pictures of Caprica six with crayons. Y’know, just little things like that… Personally I’m hoping that Gaius will turn out to be the little mite’s dad or something utterly wild like that…
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3. WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN TO THE SHIP ITSELF?
So, despite the valiant efforts of Chief Tyrol, Battlestar is fucked, with holes appearing all over the ship despite all the weird purple Cylon goo being put in to plug the gaps. Old man Adama has decided to jump to the Cylon base ship (um, I wonder if he’s found a cardboard box big enough to house that model galleon he’s always painting?) Yet surely the old girl deserves to go out with bang? Getting blasted to shit across the universe is the only way it can end for the old tin can…
4. WHO IS THE SEVENTH CYLON, ‘DANIEL’?
In the (utterly brilliant) series 4 episode ‘No Exit’, Ellen explains that the final five made a seventh Cylon, ‘Daniel’, who Ellen duly referred to as an “artist who was sensitive to the world”. Cavil – boo, hiss, etc – poisoned the amniotic fluid being used to mature the Daniel copies and then corrupted Daniel’s genetic code after becoming jealous of Ellen’s alleged favoritism towards him. This sabotage meant that no further Daniel copies could be created, yet it is unknown, if any pre-existing Daniel copies survived Cavil’s actions. It’s strongly rumored that the seventh Cylon will appear in the forthcoming ‘Caprica’ – what’s betting Moore chucks him in at the end of BG to tee things up for that show?
5.ARE THEY EVER GOING TO FIND A HOME?
If I’ve got one criticism of Battlestar (aside from that weird Lamkin ‘ghost cat’ storyline), it’s that – in recent weeks – the show seems to have forgotten that the initial point of the series concerned the remainder of the human race finding a new home. At the moment that goal seems further off than Christmas 6071… Okay, the show has become something bigger and bolder since it all kicked off, but surely the President is going to be able to find a planet to live on and build that fucking shed she’s always wittering on about? Have a heart Moore!
A fan of ‘Battlestar Galactica’? Anything I’ve missed? Let me know…