Bright Light Bright Light – ‘Disco Moment’
Although I was gutted when I realised this wasn’t The Feeling’s comeback single, I’m consoled that someone else feels their influence as much as me. Bright Light Bright Light might not be married to Sophie Ellis-Bextor, but he does know his way around a melancholy piece of electro pop. “I’m as patient as the next man I like to think”, meanwhile, wins the award for most even-tempered lyric ever.

Anna Calvi – ‘Suzanne and I’
Although Anna Calvi’s career is basically a bit of a CTHIAOPTO (‘conduit to her inevitable appearance on Popstar To Operastar) her sultry Halloween pop is mighty enjoyable in the meantime. Her new single is particularly chilling if you pretend it was written for ex-Hear’Say member and Emmerdale actress Suzanne Shaw and imagine the pair waltzing to it.

Death In Vegas ft Katie Stelmanis – ‘Your Loft My Acid’
Has a song title ever screamed ’90s hangover louder than that? This is the sort of vacuous trance that One Day’s Dexter Mayhew would DJ at the Met Bar while out of his eyeballs on gak.

Wiley – ‘Link Up’
For the last two years, Wiley’s been asking for more credit for his role in Tinchy and Roll Deep’s chart success, while simultaneously claiming to be above exploiting the genre for commercial gain. He’s been able to get away with it, not least because people still don’t pay Wiley enough attention. This, though, feels like too much of a compromise – a pop-tinged song about dating only saved from accusations of “selling out” by the fact that no-one is going to buy it.

Summer Camp – ‘Better Off Without You’
I want to live in Summer Camp’s alternate universe where The Wombats didn’t ruin indie for everyone, Eddie Argos is an X Factor judge and The Long Blondes are on their fifth platinum-selling album. This is simply perfection, all swooning vocals and playground politics.

One Direction – ‘What Makes You Beautiful’
Dear obese, acne-ridden, greasy-haired, triple-chinned One Direction fans, I’ve got something to tell you. When 1D sing “You don’t know you’re beautiful, that’s what makes you beautiful”, they’re lying. The things you thought made people beautiful before, those are the right ones. But hey, now you can accept you’re never going to give Harry Styles shines and do something with your life. Someone amazing will fall in love with you and, if you’re lucky, they’ll have a career trajectory longer than two albums and a greatest hits.

This article appears in the September 10th issue of NME

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