If there’s one thing other than looks and personality we judge people on when we first meet them, it’s music taste. That’s why your freshers week was full of people asking what music you listen to and you trying to beat the booze-induced brain freeze and remember just who it is you actually like. Good news – Tinder and Spotify are collaborating so you no longer have to guess what the person you’re considering swiping right on likes to listen to by a few well-angled photos and a cheesy bio.
The two companies have said you will be able to choose your own personal anthem to link up to your Tinder page, allowing anyone who comes across you to immediately suss you out. It is just one song, though, so you’re gonna have to think very carefully about what you want to say to all those potential partners/hook-ups via the medium of music. To help you out we’ve got some suggestions, and what they’ll tell people about your vibe.
Lady Gaga – ‘Perfect Illusion’
You will turn up to your first date in a dress made of meat, but somehow still make the person you’re meeting fall madly in love. You’ll go home with them, promise to text them when you leave the next day and then ghost them while they spend the next few months sending increasingly angry messages to you until you get bored and block their number.
The Strokes – ‘Meet Me In The Bathroom’
You’re not here for the long-term. Instead, you’ll get to the restaurant/bar/date venue of your choice, assess your potential lover over a quick drink and then suggest a visit to the bogs for a quick sesh before jumping in separate Ubers back to your respective houses. Brings a whole new meaning to in and out.
Arctic Monkeys – ‘Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?’
Whoever matches with and then swaps digits with you is gonna be in for a hell of a lot of booty calls. They’ll never hear from you in the day and then, like a modern day vampire of love, the clock will strike 11pm and you’ll be blowing up their phone. If you’re still trying to be smooth you’ll ask if they wanna party, if you’ve got beyond giving a toss about that you’ll just come straight out with it and type the words every romantic dreams of receiving: “Fancy a shag?”
Joy Division – ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’
You’ll try and make a relationship last, but it won’t be your fault when it all falls apart because, actually, true love and the notion of soulmates are lies invented by society to keep us permanently miserable. Even if you do manage to one day stay with someone long enough to convince them to marry you, you’ll realise it’s all a sham and immediately begin to sabotage both your relationship and your future happiness.
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Adele – ‘Someone Like You’
You’re not over your ex (any of them). You regularly have to be put in a cab home by your mates when you’ve had one too many and gone on a one-person crusade to flood the smoking area of the club with your sad, salty tears. Usually happens after spotting someone in the same shoes as your former partner or smelling their fragrance on someone as you push your way to the bar.
Coldplay – ‘Fix You’
You’re a very caring person, but sometimes you can be just a bit much. You are looking for someone to look after and once you’ve locked down that relationship you will do everything you possibly can to make sure they’re alright. The type of person who is regularly dumped for being “too nice”.
Kings Of Leon – ‘Sex On Fire’
You properly rate yourself in bed and don’t care who knows it. In reality, you’re probably not that great, but you’ll always get top marks for enthusiasm and confidence.
Rod Stewart – ‘Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?’
You either aren’t taking this whole ‘personal anthem’ malarkey very seriously or you are very full of yourself and have automatically presumed the answer to Rod’s question will always be a resounding yes, no matter what you’re wearing, how hungover you are or how much you let yourself go.