The Radar tour got announced this week. Had it been full of bands I didn’t like I’d be in a very sticky position now, as I’d have to emptily waffle on about how it was gonna be like the bestest tour ever and that everyone should auction their neighbours’ pets to get a ticket.

Thankfully the all-seeing, all-proofing omnipotent powers-that-be wouldn’t let such an awkward instance occur. I stuck my nose in all over the shop, and together somehow we’ve come up with a line-up that makes me feel all kinds of naughty. I mean, it quite literally reflects what the pure, boiled-down on a grubby spoon essence of what the Radar section has thrown up over the past six months…

La Roux
Staggeringly the fact that her mum’s in ‘The Bill’ (a fact that led Features Ed James McMahon to reminisce over a banquet of Youtube greatest hits moments for sometime yesterday afternoon) isn’t her greatest accolade.

She’s one of the most talked new synth-pop starlets on this little blue planet right now, and considering the fact that at the mo it feels like you can’t go to collect your milk without tripping over a new pop starlet taking shelter under your welcome mat, it’s a massive claim. Her voice cuts through air with the fragility and crispness of a paper aeroplane, and she’s got more hooks than an angler’s supplies warehouse. Her residency at Notting Hill Arts Club’s Yoyo night has been more buzz than a bluebottle tied to a dildo. Ok, enough awful metaphors for one paragraph.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mq5GdutCRo8

Heartbreak
I’ve quite frankly run out of ridiculous adjectives and absurd images to use about these guys. All that’s left to say is that they’re in my humble opinion the most essential musical troupe currently trekking these shores. Like Medusa, all it takes is one glance, and you will forever been frozen in a perpetual state of heart-rupturing italo-disco fever for ever more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhVsCO-KBjE

Magistrates
When they first came out last year everyone was calling them the Essex boy-Klaxons, which doesn’t quite cut it. However, the new recordings that’ve just come through, fresh from the finger-tips of Damon Albarn at his home studio, do pose them as the best bet for chart-crashing indie-disco poster-boys to emerge since the Three Interzone-surfing Horsemen of 2012.

The Chapman Family
If you like music that instills you with the identical pang of panic achieved from being tied-up by a serial killer and left in a pitch-black basement whilst he/she pontificates your fate, then these grizzly Tyneside nutbars are going to be right up your alley.

To celebrate here’s some exclusive freebie downloads:

Firstly a very apt team-up, it’s Heartbreak’s insane new remix of La Roux’s new chart-bound single ‘In For The Kill’.

And as if that wasn’t enough, here’s the demo version of Magistrates’ ‘Make This Work’.