According to the Internet and to everyone who has ever been on the Internet, HBO’s Girls is a show to have an opinion about. Evidently, by writing a TV program about privileged 24-year-olds living in Brooklyn, Lena Dunham has either brought us world peace or is responsible for the downfall of the universe as we know it. There is absolutely no in-between, and the only thing worse than not having an opinion on Girls would be not having seen Girls, so how dare you be so un-hip if you’ve somehow fallen between the cracks of social media.
But no matter how many good/great/amazing/okay/terrible aspects of Girls there are, there are a few obvious things that Girls has missed. And because I am a “Girl” according to the HBO sense of the word, I will fill in the blanks and welcome myself into the writing room because I have opinions too, God damn it.
This is a common aspect Girls may have overlooked. Evidently, trust funds are a thing and parents paying for their daughter to live in New York is another thing, and both of those things equal the pilot episode of Girls. And congratulations if that’s you! That must be the best. I’m just saying maybe add one of those “lame” friends into the mix who actually did have to work at McDonalds (Hannah’s (Dunham) fear) to start saving for school. (And if not school, then maybe enough for a new shirt or one cup of coffee.)
And since we’re on the topic of work, let’s get these girls some crappy part-time jobs! The only thing worse than Hannah’s unpaid internship would be working an unpaid internship and then having to go to a chain store to fold jeans for four hours, so let’s gather together and reminisce about getting yelled at by customers only to wake up at 8am to do it again.
We saw Hannah eat at a fancy restaurant with her parents and then define a dinner party by her absenteeism, but we did not see any snacks, and according to my nights spent eating snacks, they factor prominently in human culture. More snacks in episode two! Snacks for all, even!
I know we’ve just finished the pilot, but all wine I saw consumed was by happy-ish groups of people using it as a social tool. Maybe in the next episode we’ll see wine used in the traditional sense of the word: while reading bill statements in bed and crying over glass three of $7 cabernet sauvignon. Treat. Your. Self.
The only Girl who seems to own a television is the character played by Zosia Mamet, who loves Sex And The City and thinks Jessa (Jemima Kirk) is hip because she doesn’t have Facebook. Personally, I think Jessa would be more hip if she used her Facebook time to watch reruns of The Real Housewives Of Anywhere, and preferably accompanied by McDonalds coffee because it’s actually not that bad and basically free.
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Because every show needs Peggy Olsen.
So there you go. Girls, have at it – all I ask is for maybe a coupon to McDonalds and/or a gift basket of snacks for my efforts. I have no doubt Girls is going to factor into 2012’s pop culture landscape, so let’s kick up our heels, throw on a scarf, and tell everyone we’ve been reading the most obscure author you can possibly think of because if there’s anything to be learned from the backlash to the backlash to the backlash of Girls, it’s that having an opinion on a TV show is absolutely pivotal to your well-being as a human.