As the huge Facebook group to get me to fill Jonathan Ross’s vacant hole gathers pace (click here to join the 20 or so people that I’ve brainwashed), I haven’t forgotten my loyal following on NME.
So here I am to help you separate the wheat from the chaff in movieland this year. A place that, for once, isn’t just regurgitating the stomach lining of sequel-dom. In fact a whole ONE film in this list isn’t based on a computer game, or an adaptation, or a previous cinematic incarnation, or is actually a sequel. Thanks Hollywood!
How much do I want to tell you about Inception? Lots. How much can I tell you about Inception? Sweet fuck all. As secretive as the dubious magazines I have hidden under my bed, the shoot of The Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan’s latest has been kept under more wraps than a tortilla factory.
What we do know is that the film takes place “in the architecture of the mind”, leading many fanboys to hope this will be the film The Matrix sequels should have been. We also know that it stars Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page, Marion Cotillard, as well as Batman alumni Michael Caine and Cillian Murphy.
If that doesn’t convince, try the trailer below. It features a city bending in half. Nice.
Prince Of Persia
Not quite as appetite-whetting as Inception is Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time. The colon would suggest that Disney think they have another Pirates Of The Carribbean on their hands and who knows, they just might. But first they’ll have to hurdle The Curse Of The Video Game.
From Super Mario Bros to Max Payne, ‘pooter games just don’t translate. Cross this with the fact that it’s a blockbuster that features lots of CGI sand (Wild Wild West, The Mummy Returns, Ishtar?) and you begin to question Jake ‘Donnie Darko’ Gyllenhaal’s involvement.
Perhaps it had something to do with Gemma Arterton being extremely hot. That, and a fat pay cheque.
“It’s Bourne 4! It’s Bourne again! It’s Bourne, It is!! It is Bourne!!!” There’s something about the publicity for Green Zone that makes me think the studio would like audiences to think of this as another Bourne film. Yes it features Matt Damon as someone double ‘ard and yes he’s being directed by everyone’s favourite Guardian reading director, Paul Greengrass but I for one hope this can stand on its own feet.
Loosely based on the book ‘Imperial Life In The Emerald City’, the bad guys in Iraq are unsurprisingly not the Iraqis. As Damon starts to uncover a conspiracy he also starts to get his moves on. Or as the somewhat petulant tagline suggests, “Chief Warrant Officer Roy Miller is done following orders”.
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Roy?! It’s not quite as cool a name as Jason now is it?
As strong a cast as you’re likely to see in a big Hollywood Blockbuster (Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, Hugo Weaving and Emily Blunt) Wolfman is somewhat limping into view. Pushed back from its original release of 2009 it’s now due to be released mid-February, making it a perfect Valentine’s film. Really.
The cynic in me (yes there is one) thinks that perhaps Universal realise they have a stinker on their hands. I’m basing this solely on the involvement of Joe ‘Jumanji/Jurrasic Park 3‘ Johnston who came in as a last minute replacement after Mark Romanek left due to every studio’s favourite two words, Creative Differences.
Still, that is an impressive cast. But why they didn’t put darts hero Martin Adams in the lead role is beyond me.
Iron Man 2
And here it is, the obligatory sequel. But I say bah to the naysayers for Iron Man is one film I’m more than happy to have another couple of hours of. Such is my love of Robert Downey Jr I’d happily watch a couple more Sherlock Holmes.
I should be sitting here typing about the possibility of too many villains spoiling the super-hero broth but when those extra villains are Mickey Rourke, Sam Rockwell and Scarlett Johansson in a catsuit, well, my mouth is staying firmly shut.
Just to be clear it’s only Scarlett in a catsuit. As far as I’m aware anyway.
So there you have ’em. The five big films of 2010. Coming soon, ‘The five medium-sized films of 2010’. With ideas as good as that The Beeb will have to give me that job soon…