First for music news
This Week's Issue
You’re logged in
 
 
 
 

Released: 2009

Oh Joss, did ditching the shackles of your record label mean that you'd be hot-footing it to make hugely mis-judged steps like this? Of course the label didn't want to release it! It looked like it was made by the same company who makes the adverts for those 1-2-1 ‘chatlines’ , just skip forward to the ‘electrodes’ moment. Before you ask: it’s better than that Brits appearance but not as bad as Superheavy.

 
 
 

Released: 1998

Five reasons never to go clubbing in town: 1) this video. 2) this video. 3) this video. 4) this video. 5) this video. Yes, the vague level of menace as the boyband head to "da club" just can’t be manufactured. Our advice? Just don’t look directly into Dane Bowers’ eyes and you'll be okay.

 
 
 

Released: 1980

This is a classic case of 'When an older artist attempts to update their image and it all goes horribly wrong in the process.' Here Alice attempts to go ‘new wave’ which roughly translates as: wrapping oneself in foil, covering oneself with some old wires from a car stereo and generally pretending to be Gary Numan’s ‘wacky’ uncle.

 
 
 

Released: 1988

The Beach Boys bandwagon continued rolling in the 80s (if only in desperate, retro situations). 'Kokomo' was indicative of where they were as a 'brand'. It was as if Mike Love had taken the “Beach Boys” name out of Brian Wilson's crazy shaking hands and we were forced to watch footage of Tom Cruise mixing up Bloody Marys. Thanks guys.

 
 
 

Released: 1993

'Zooropa's opening shot was accompanied by this strange, slightly queasy-making promo. What could have gone so wrong? We can only surmise that The Edge was being slowly tortured after he confessed to stealing Bono’s special shoes and wearing them like ear-rings whilst singing ‘New Year's Day' in a high pitched, girly voice?

 
 
 

Released: 2010

Hungry for a slice of pre-teen, suburbian angst after the latest Bieber opus left you gagging for more? Enter Jenna Rose (and someone worryingly called 'Baby Triggy'). Well versed in the Rebecca Black school of literalism, Rose is younger with more teeth, even less legal ability to drive a car and a helluva lot more autotune. Makes us want to get sterilized.

 
 
 

Released: 2007

The message we got from this video was that the face of Chad Kroeger was deemed so unpalatable for public consumption that they got various work experience students to lip sync along to the lyrics instead. In fact, the likes of KISS' Gene Simmons, actress Eliza Dushku, Kid Rock and Nelly Furtado all joined in on "the fun". We hope they were ashamed.

 
 
 

Released: 2011

Clearly not having learnt anything from the many "pop groups do Christmas videos" (oh yes, The Spice Girls '2 Become 1' and East 17's 'Stay Another Day', we're looking at you!), JLS spend all their hard earned customized condoms money on this ridiculous addition to the cannon. The quartet look like they've been trapped at Westfield after midnight and have decided to keep warm with some old clothes from River...

 
 
 

Released: 1985

Bowie and Jagger. Finally together. What could possibly go wrong? That both icons were in the drizzly autumns of their respective careers didn't help (Jagger was about the release his 1987 solo album 'Primitive Cool', Bowie had his infamous Glass Spider tour to contend with). That their video treatment was basically 'get them together and see what happens!' helped even less. The resultant promo was basically: two...

 
 
 

Released: 2011

A Cbeebies cartoon about an annoying Japanese popstar has exploded all over Cher Lloyd. UH-OH! Manfully she decided to carry on and do her video anyway. That the many, many Simon Cowell-led focus groups behind Cher Lloyd came up with this is baffling. It's a confusing, head-ache inducing lattice of colours, fashions and 'concepts'. Ugg. Give some people a free sandwich and they'll say anything, huh?

 
 
 
 
Latest Tickets - Booking Now
 
Know Your NME
 

 
Most Read News
Popular This Week
NME Store & Framed Prints
Inside NME.COM
On NME.COM Today