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Released: 2005

It seems bizarre that in 2004 this former army officer would rule the charts with his combination of hamster-like voice and songs which breezed through the streets of Clapham like chilly, futuristic winds. For the video for this stalker-on-the-tube track he got all 'new man' on us, but to the more cynical eye it just looked like "A toothy minor royal strips off in the rain."

 
 
 

Released: 2005

We don't care how many Katherine Heigl rom-coms or moments in TOWIE this song soundtracked, the actual video is pretty damn awful. One key thing we learnt from it is that, remember kids, loneliness looks like a commercial for The Gap’s Spring collection.

 
 
 

Released: 2010

It must have been coming back in the wake of Lady Gaga, but really Aguilera could have done better than this couldn't she? X-Tina went for the 'shock' factor, but her attempt to shock includes a bad perm, shirtless men dancing in the rain and some very painful looking rubber outfits. Urg. Made sex look a little bit ‘meh’.

 
 
 

Released: 1990

It seems weird that a band who have so readily grabbed the reunion dollar were so uncomfortable making music videos during their initial period of existence as a band. And whilst their “anti video” stance was commendable, it meant that we had to suffer moments like this. An amazing song un-done by the video.

 
 
 

Released: 2008

There's a fine line between "arty moment which seems to encompass everything" and "dire plotless LOL-fest". Which one do you think Razorlight made? In this 'video' it seem that our hero (J-Bo) has set fire to the other members of Razorlight and fashioned them into a nice ear ring and pearl necklace set which he waves about nonchalantly.

 
 
 

Released: 2004

Steve Winwood's 'Valerie' got sampled (by sampled we mean butchered) by Sweden's Eric Prydz and it's fitting that the promo had a lowest common denominator vibe to it. Imagine Oliva Newton John's 'Physical' re-framed by Peter Stringfellow. Basically all you need to know is that: it’s LOTS OF ARSES IN LYCRA!

 
 
 

Released: 2011

A video jam-packed with clichéd religious allusions, ugly high couture fashions and dancers who look like they haven’t had a proper meal since the nineties. An attempt to jump on the Madonna/Catholicism bandwagon that so incredibly misjudged it's quite comical. It's seems fitting that for Gaga's worst single so far, the video was her very own Curate’s egg.

 
 
 

Released: 2010

In her first ever music video we see the reality show star Su-Bo walking along a foggy, dusky riverfront and the vibe is surprisingly...creepy. In fact everything has the air of slight menace about it. “Such a perfect day I’m glad I spent it with you,” she trills, possibly to the body she just bludgeoned to death and flung in the sea.

 
 
 

Released: 2010

You thought that The Kings Of Leon were a rock and roll band? Pah! You were so wrong. The Followills had a sideline as Christian missionaries sent to teach African school children about the best way to wear gnarly sunglasses and ripped jeans. The music industry gasped in disbelief as the Oklahoma boys leapt into a muddled mise-en-scene of questionable racial subtext.

 
 
 

Released: 2011

Perhaps it was the £5 budget special effects or maybe the fact that there were dental braces everywhere we looked or even the bratty stage school kids pretending to drive around in a car. Black herself came across as kind of sweet and naive, but the sense of an evil puppet master behind the scenes controlling everything couldn't be escaped. In the end, there was so much to dislike it was quite overwhelming. This...

 
 
 
 
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