30Rod Stewart, 'Downtown Train'
Will you see us tonight, on a downtown train? No, we'll be hiding behind a copy of the Evening Standard and hoping you don't see us, Rod.
29Mark Ronson, 'Just'
The sound of Ronson accidentally knocking over a whole brass section on top of Thom Yorke's top hat.
28Britney Spears, 'I Love Rock 'N' Roll'
Mistress of irony Britney Spears covered Joan Jett's paean to axe-loving. Ha. Good one, Brit.
27Girls Aloud/Sugababes, 'Walk This Way'
No-one comes out of this well, apart from perhaps Heidi Range whose last sentient memory was the denouement of the 'Carbon monoxide' storyline in Hollyoaks in 2007.
26Madonna, 'American Pie'
Usually flush with pop smarts, Madge puts a foot spectacularly wrong on this cover of Don Mclean's 23 hours opus. It also featured Rupert Everett on backing vocals. 'Nuff said.
25Emma Bunton and Tin Tin Out, 'What I Am'
Tin Tin Out (aka the peddlers of dance-lite for the customers of 'Dorothy Perkins') make their first of two appearances on this list, on this characteristically stupid version of the Edie Brickell number.
24Limp Bizkit, 'Faith'
LB's ska - ska- take on the George Michael with Fred Durst sounding both creepy and faintly menacing
23New Found Glory, 'Kiss Me'
Fact: 59 year old New Found Glory frontman Bob Oldguy sang this to a 12 year old Hayley Williams from Paramore on their first date* *accuracy of fact, not confirmed.
22Mel B, 'Word Up'
Timbaland you should be ashamed of yourself! Mel B sings this whole song like she's auditioning for a role as an evil witch in Harry Potter.
21Counting Crows, 'Big Yellow Taxi'
Made for chomping your plain Biscotti over your flat white at Starbucks. Plain, mind - there'll be nothing as exciting as flavour in these parts.