Australia’s version of the Brit Awards, the ARIAs, last night marked their 30th Anniversary. That’s 30 years since Elton John presented the ceremony – but time flies when you’re celebrating Australian music. It was a bonza year this time round (despite the fact there was no booze on offer for the attendees, for some reason) and even Robbie Williams turned up to present an award. Time, then, to look at the winners, losers and performers of what was, we’re reliably informed, a thoroughly enjoyable evening for everyone involved.
1. Troye Sivan won song of the year
For his track ‘Youth’. Robbie W, sporting a frankly reprehensible green smoking jacket, presented him with his gong. And Troye, who has acquired role model status in the LGBT community, said in his acceptance speech: “This is for every gay Australian kid who wants to go and make music, every LGBTQ kid who wants to go and make music – you can totally do it, and win an ARIA too.” Damn straight.
2. Flume had a bloody good night all round
The 25-year-old producer, who’s had hits with the likes of ‘Never Be Like You’ and the Tove Lo-featuring ‘Say It’, picked up no fewer than five awards. Congratulations, Flume, for being awarded Artist of the Year, Album of the Year (‘Skin’), Best Dance Release (‘Skin’), Best Pop Release (‘Never Be Like You’) and Best Independent Release (‘Skin’).
3. The Veronicas performed in glitter and bodypaint
The Veronicas perform topless at 2016 ARIA Awards
You know, The Veronicas. The rocky, Aussie pop duo that the Mail Online spends at least 30% of its time writing about. The looked pretty badass, strutting up and down the auditorium in their wet-look trouser things, the top halves of their bodies plastered in paints and glitter, as they performed ‘In My Blood’. The sisters hosted the event and one of them – it’s unclear which, to be honest – said: “It was incredibly brave of the ARIAs to invite us here tonight. We’re the loose cannons of the industry, a little unpredictable and slightly unprofessional at times.” In a shocking display of the extent of their depraved, renegade behaviour, they added, “We promise to be on our best behaviour.” Stop the madness, The Veronicas, you’ll kill us all!
4. Crowded House got what is basically a lifetime achievement award
Even though half of them are from New Zealand. If you don’t know who Crowded House are, they’re a winsome pop band from the ’90s and your dad loves their 1992 hit ‘Weather With You’. As they entered the ARIAs Hall of Fame (figuratively speaking, you understand; they don’t have to stay there forever), founding member and singer Neil Finn made a little joke that he we was surprised Australian immigration services allowed them into the country, given their “subversive message”. There is nothing subversive about Crowded House. They sure know how to write a delightful ditty about the weather, though.
5. Sia won Best Female Artist
Nominacion + Discurso de aceptación de premio por #AMEquality Australia 🌈 Visita twitter //twitter.com/sia_world y facebook //www.facebook.com/SIAworld/?ref=bookmarks
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Thanks to her album ‘This Is Acting’. Sia’s pretty much too cool to go to an awards ceremony, so she sent someone in her place – an Australian marriage equality campaigner called Angie Greene. Apparently asked her to accept the award on behalf of “every single non-hetero and gender-diverse person, who can currently not marry the person that they love in this country”. ARIAs, you done good this year.
And the full winners are…
Telstra Album of the Year: Flume, ‘Skin’
Best Male Artist: Flume, ‘Skin’
Best Female Artist: Sia, ‘This is Acting’
Best Dance Release: Flume, ‘Skin’
Best Group: Violent Soho, ‘WACO’
Breakthrough Artist: Montaigne, ‘Glorious Heights’
Best Pop Release: Flume, ‘Never Be Like You’ (feat. Kai)
Best Urban Album: Drapht, ‘Seven Mirrors’
Best Independent Release: Flume, ‘Skin’
Best Rock Album: Violent Soho, ‘WACO’
Best Adult Contemporary Album: Bernard Fanning, ‘Civil Dusk’
Best Adult Alternative Album: Sarah Blasko, ‘Eternal Return’
Best Country Album: Sara Storer, ‘Silos’
Best Hard Rock/Heavy Metal Album: King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard, ‘Nonagon Infinity’
Best Blues & Roots Album: Russell Morris, ‘Red Dirt Red Heart’
Best Children’s Album: The Wiggles, ‘Wiggle Town!’
Best Video: Troye Sivan, ‘YOUTH Acoustic’ (Sydney Session)
Best Australian Live Act: Hilltop Hoods, ‘The Restrung Tour’
Apple Music Song of the Year: Troye Sivan, ‘Youth’
Best International Artist: One Direction, ‘Made in the A.M. & Four’