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Chvrches' Lauren Mayberry discusses abusive ex for Lena Dunham newsletter 'Lenny'

Frontwoman opens up about former relationship in new essay

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Lauren Mayberry of Chvrches has written about an abusive relationship in her past.

The singer of the band wrote the piece for Lenny, the online newsletter run by Girls creator and actress Lena Dunham.

An excerpt from the essay obtained by Stereogum sees Mayberry talk about a man from her past who acted violently around her and the "final wake-up call" she needed to get out of the relationship.

"We were arguing, again. Like most times it happened, I wasn’t quite sure why he was so upset. I had tried to placate him; I had tried to reason; I had tried to apologize, but nothing seemed to be having any impact other than making the situation worse. Then he backed me against a wall and slammed his hand repeatedly on the surface above my head. When I broke down in shock, he said, 'Oh, don’t act like I hit you.' That moment was the final wake-up call I shouldn’t have needed.

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"Things like this had happened before but to a lesser extent. He would pull me by my arms and wrists when he was frustrated and thought I wasn’t listening (and then say he was sorry). He would slam doors on me (and then apologize). He once grabbed at the steering wheel of my car when I was driving so we could pull over to 'talk,' then shouted and beat his fists repeatedly on the dashboard when I didn’t stop the vehicle.

"At the time, it felt like things changed slowly, like I woke up one day in a relationship and a reality that I did not recognize, but I’m sure the signs were there the whole time. When we met, he seemed charming. He was smart, passionate, creative, and caring. But after the first few months, he became increasingly paranoid, insecure, jealous, and depressed. Everything became my fault. I was careless. I was stupid. I was selfish. I was not trustworthy. I was a weak person who would fail at anything she tried so I shouldn’t bother. He hated me, but then he loved me and I was the best person in the world — until I wasn’t anymore."

The full essay will be published tomorrow (October 28) and available to Lenny subscribers.

Chvrches released new album 'Every Open Eye' last month (September 21). It is the follow up to 2013 album 'The Bones Of What You Believe' and features the single 'Leave A Trace'.

The band recently announced details of an upcoming UK tour, including their biggest London headline gig to date.

They will tour in November following the release of 'Every Open Eye', including a gig at London's Alexandra Palace in November. Four Tet will provide support on the London date.

Prior to playing in London, Chvrches will play gigs in Brighton, Bristol, Manchester, Newcastle, Aberdeen, Dundee and Birmingham. See full details below.

Chvrches will play:

Brighton Dome (November 16)
Bristol O2 Academy (17)
Manchester Albert Hall (19)
Newcastle O2 Academy (21)
Aberdeen Music Hall (23)
Dundee Fat Sam’s (24)
Birmingham O2 Academy (25)
London Alexandra Palace (27)
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