August 14, 2001 12:50

TABLOID HELL - AUGUST 14

Plus - The Britney/Pamela face off, the Bitches/3am Girls face off and lamppost humping...

Macy Gray has been dressing up as a man.

According to The Sun, the rusty throated eight foot tall diva, who had a worldwide hit with 'I Try', has taken to wearing non-female clobber for a soft drink ad in the US. Apparently Macy's commercial shows "how people reacted to her as a gender-bender". Tabloid Hell has learned that the very tall singer, who augments her height advantage with a lovely tall head of hair, took to wearing trousers instead of skirts, shirts instead of blouses and laced-up shoes rather than delicate pumps. She has never worn such clothes before. During the filming of the ad, passers-by were left flummoxed by the change. Many were heard to whisper "Look at the big fellow over there with the lovely tall head of hair. He looks a bit like Macy Gray. Nice shoes."

looking like Britney, went up to accept Britney's award. Britney accepted it later when she resumed her own body shape.

Meanwhile, The Daily Star today introduces the Bitches, who are like The Mirror's Ever Vigilant 3am Girls with lighter hair. Today the trio, who seem intent to challenge The Mirror's Ever Vigilant 3am Girls exclusive for exclusive, reveal that Mel B was spotted eating lunch in a restaurant. Ever Vigilant 3am Girls snap back with news that Liam and Nicole were spotted in a supermarket, shopping. This could run and run.

Finally, a Welsh man has been convicted of making love to a lamppost. Lonely bachelor David Pithers was so desperate for sex - and so taken by 30ft pole in the village of Pontyberem, near Llanelli - that he dropped his slacks and his pants and rubbed himself up and down.

He was given a 12-month conditional discharge and fined £25. The lamppost has yet to comment about the incident.

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