June 4, 2001 12:17

TABLOID HELL - JUNE 4 2001

Plus - Mel B thinks she's a phenomenon, the Backstreet Boys' novel call to arms and the key to perfect ice cream...

TABLOID HELL - JUNE 4 2001
CHRISTINA AGUILERA is in reality glam rock veteran DEE SNIDER, once lead singer of NEW YORK Kiss wannabes TWISTED SISTER.

The Mirror (June 4) today pictures the pony-faced midget beside Snider and the two are unmistakably the same person. Christina Aguilera's picture was taken at the MTV Movie Awards at the weekend when she climbed onstage with Mya, Lil' Kim and Pink to play 'Lady Marmalade'. She is hoping to increase her tally of hit singles to two as people are beginning to forget the one about the bottle. Snider, incidentally, re-emerged from obscurity at the start of the 90s, following Twisted Sister's demise, as the voice behind New York State Lotto commercials.

Elsewhere, the Backstreet Boys have come up with a novel call to arms for their fans. According to The Sun, AJ from the chart-topping outfit, who ironically come from a street with houses facing the FRONT, says "the only thing that will ever split us up is death".

http://www.nme.com/media/images/tabloidlogo_L.jpg, 'I'm a phenomenon' and he's like 'Fuck off, no you're not, you're Melanie. Now get the washing up done'," explains Mel. Fans of music, familiar with Mel's solo material, will, of course, be well aware of her sense of humour.

Meanwhile, The Mirror's Ever Vigilant 3am Girls today carry four photographs of Jay Kay from Jamiroquai dancing. They also reveal that Lisa from Steps, who in the past has been known to like food, was seen having lunch in a restaurant in London.

The Express today reveals that Lisa may not be so keen on lunch in the coming months as the band are set for Hollywood in a bid to make it in movies (there is, of course, no such thing as a free lunch in that town). Faye Tozer explains: "We've had lots of offers and for the first time we'll all be going for screen tests." Tabloid Hell has no doubt the multifaceted fivesome, who possibly all enjoy lunch, will have no trouble breaking into the unscrupulous, dog-eat-dog billion dollar world of film, a thought echoed by Faye. "None of us have ever tried this before but I guess we'll soon find out whether we're any good at it and take it from there," she says, emphatically.

Finally, a scientist in Bristol claims to have discovered the formula for perfect ice cream.

According to the Daily Record, Dr Peter Barham says liquid nitrogen is the key.

"To get ice cream right, the size of the ice crystals, the fat particles and the air bubbles have to be the right size," he says. "By adding liquid nitrogen it cools it very rapidly and you have instant ice cream perfectly made ever time."

Dr Barnham has spent years working to create the dish, ceaselessly testing and tasting. The wonder cream will be unveiled at a special seminar next week. The flavour is currently unknown.

Email Tabloidhell@nme.com with your comments, gripes and insults.

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