TABLOID HELL – MAY 22 2001

Plus, Hear'say girl gets all soaped up, Supergrass star "enjoys" a drink and Geri buys a diamante dog collar...

New bride Billie Piper went to a bar with the man she recently married, her husband, yesterday.

The couple, who are blissfully happy, spent several hours chatting, giggling and having some drinks. Billie, who is much younger than her ginger-haired zilllionaire spouse, media mogul Chris Evans, wore some clothes. As photographs in all the morning redtops today (May 22) prove, so did her husband. Billie and Chris are planning a move to Swindon. It is unclear if they will go to a bar today, or maybe just pop out for a little stroll.

Elsewhere, we learn that “Kym is gorgeous, she makes me feel like a new man.” It appears soap opera actor Jack Ryder is quite smitten by Hear’say‘s racy, hard-grafting mother of two Kym Marsh. Jack, who is barely out of school, tells The Sun that Kym “is like no one I’ve ever met”. Jack fell for Kym, “friends” say, because of her “mature outlook”. Tabloid Hell sees no reason why the relationship could not last until Hear’say‘s next single is released in a fortnight. And quite possibly for a week or two beyond even that.

The Sun also reports that Mick Jagger‘s daughter Elizabeth was allegedly bitten by her boyfriend Damien Van Zyl. On her lip. Which is ironic, if a little sore.

The Mirror’s Ever-Vigilant 3am Girls – who very rarely are – say Gaz Coombs from Supergrass was spotted with a glass of wine “outside a bistro” in Battersea. Gaz is said to have been “enjoying” the drink. They also capture a rare glimpse of the Incredible Shrinking Woman. Intensely private Lady Haversham-like Geri Halliwell was spied in London buying a diamante dog collar, for her dog, “on the King’s Road”. After the sniper-sighted trio’s recent revelations that Cleavage Spice Emma Bunton and Bob Geldof were also spotted on the King’s Road, Tabloid Hell can confidently conclude that every famous person in Britain lives on the King’s Road. Except the Queen.

Finally, while there have been no new manifestations of the Monkey Man of New Delhi – though crime levels all over India have dropped dramatically as a result of his reign of terror on the streets last week – in Greece there have been sightings of the Virgin Mary embracing Jesus.

According to ananova.com, villagers at Monastiraki, near Argos in Peloponnesus, say the apparition appears around sunset each evening on a slope above the Church Of Saint Paraskevi. “This is definitely a miracle,” says an 85-year-old villager identified only as Nicholas.

If you want to mail any comments about Tabloid Hell, contact Paul at tabloidhell@nme.com.