TABLOID HELL – MARCH 20

Plus, Hear'say mother gets in the ring, Five star's Amazonian new flame and former soap star spotted in a shop. Doing some shopping...

It sounds too good to be true. While BRITNEY is busy in LOUISIANA filming what is claimed to be her feature film debut, this morning’s DAILY STAR (March 20) reveals that MS SPEARS has appeared on celluloid before. And what a film!

The Princess of Pop starred as an air stewardess in ‘Jack Of All Trades’, an independent that is still without distribution. And it gets better. Playing a pilot on the flick was none other than ‘The Gambler’ himself, Kenny Rogers. This film needs an immediate theatrical release.

The Mirror this morning leads with the heartrending story of how Hear’say’s Danny’s mum supposedly punched his girlfriend’s mum in the face. They don’t get on, apparently. Rather more worrying for the Popstars chart-toppers is a new fan they have acquired. Former Tory leadership candidate John Redwood just loves ‘Pure And Simple’. It has “quite a catchy tune,” he is reported as saying. There is a general election in May. Prepare next week for William Hague’s admission that the gritty social realism and ever-evolving punk ethics of the Manics have forced him into a radical reappraisal of personal and party politics.

Meanwhile, the ever-vigilant 3am Girls, report, as do most of the red tops, on Westlife’s Kian Egan getting a bit of a pasting outside a kebab shop. (Click here… for full story). They also report that former soap opera hardman actor Ross Kemp was spotted at a supermarket in Fulham. He was shopping.

Back to The Star, where we see that Five’s Ritchie Neville is getting over the “heartbreak” of his split with Billie Piper with Lucy Clarkson, the current face of Lara Croft. Pictured at a film premiere last night, tall, sleek, dark haired Lucy looks like she is with the six-inches-shorter, spectacle-wearing Neville for a bet.

Finally, forget the favourites, outsider ‘Chocolat’ is going to sweep up at this year’s Oscars ceremony. According to two Dobermann pinschers owned by Sylvester Stallone’s mother. The clairvoyant canines, reports the Daily Express, also tip Julia Roberts to pick up Best Actress for ‘Erin Brockovich’ and Russell Crowe to get Best Actor for ‘Gladiator’. Meanwhile, Kate Hudson will get Best Supporting Actress for ‘Almost Famous’, while ‘Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon’ will win Best Foreign Film.

The dogs also reckon the Queen will remain on the throne until she is 120.