TABLOID HELL! – 10 JANUARY

Yep, she had lots of outfits on at the American Music Awards - but how many depends on which paper you read...

Following yesterday’s All Saints revelations in which we were assured that

they had definitely broken up (well, almost definitely. In fact, read that as a maybe.

No, wait for a statement. On Thursday), today (January 10) the UK’s

red tops have focused on an altogether more pressing issue – the state of

Britney Spears’ wardrobe.

flashed the flesh in FIVE sizzling outfits,” screamed the Daily Star,

devoting almost all of a double-page spread to Miss Spears and her costume

changes at Monday’s American Music Awards ceremony in Los Angeles.

Scotland’s Daily Record got even more carried away, assuring us that “she changed

her outfit eight times as she hosted the show” before describing the changes from “jeans and a skimpy top”

to a “daring… purple and gold top and shorts, then… a stylish pink and red sarong number”.

Everyone from The Sun to London’s morning commuter free paper

Metro also got in on the act.

Meanwhile, everyone also gave over plenty of column inches to the forthcoming

offspring of Kerry ‘calm down’ Katona of Atomic Kitten

and Bryan ‘bruiser’ McFadden of Westlife, (the new (low-rent)

Posh’n’Becks), The Sun found its own baby story.

“Teenage pop star Billie Piper has been spotted in a chemist buying a

pregnancy testing kit,” roared the paper, under what is easily the best headline of the day:

“Has Randy DJ Chris Given Billie The Kid”. Despite a denial from a spokesman for

Billie, it seems that as long as the 32-year-old tycoon Evans

keeps romancing the barely post-pubescent Piper (or until everyone works out

just what on earth is going on), such stories will grow and grow.

The Sun

comes up trumps again on its Bizarre music page. Refusing to allow the

increasingly tedious All Saints break-up story to stiff completely,

they have a photograph of Shaznay Lewis wearing the “horrible jacket”

that caused the row between the four-piece, threatening to cost them a cool £5 million.

Finally, undeterred by the cancellation of Glastonbury, at

which she had been mooted as a headliner, Madonna seems to have

swapped the biggest music festival in Britain for the biggest festival in the world.

According to the hip, young Daily Express, the Queen of Pop is

heading East to recharge her chakras following her recent nuptials.

Mrs Ciccone-Penn-Ritchie is said to be off to Allahabad

in India to immerse herself in the waters of the holy Ganges.

With up to 70 million Hindus congregating for the festival, the next step in Madonna’s

well pitched rebranding seems to be moving apace. Are stories in the Indian press of ongoing searches

for a Delhi townhouse, or a possible romance between her and an upcoming

Bollywood director just a step away?…