TABLOID HELL – AUGUST 7 2001

Plus - Kid Rock's a mean plasterer, Five fight their way out of a wet paper bag and Scottish traffic wardens turn to meditation...

Eminem came up with a toilet.

When asked to design a shop display for Bloomingdale’s in New York, Marshall suggested a dummy of himself sitting on a toilet surrounded by posters of Britney and Christina. According to The Sun (August 7), Bloomingdale’s baulked. “The toilet would have been very hip, but not tasteful,” they reckoned. Tabloidhell@nme.com has learned that Eminem was not setting out to shock. Since moving to a big new house, the foul-mouthed King of Rap has developed a love of interior plumbing. It started when he discovered his new home was two water closets short. Finding it difficult to get a plumber (“You’re Eminem… yeah, right. And I’m Dr freaking Dre… go find some other schmuck… I said NO”) he decided to do the necessary work himself. After a botched effort in the first bathroom, he managed to conquer the copper pipe and solder conundrum in the second. He has, it is understood, also added a power shower.

Marshall is disappointed Bloomingdale’s didn’t go for his idea,” a spokesperson should tell Tabloidhell@nme.com. “He was more than prepared to carry out all necessary alterations free of charge – have you any idea how difficult it is to get a plumber. He was going to bring Kid Rock in too. The Kid can plaster like nobody’s business. There’s a real movement in Detroit now towards plumbing.”

,” a source might say.

The Mirror’s Ever Vigilant 3am Girls, who today are writing different stories than they did yesterday and may repeat the trick tomorrow, reveal that “S Club 7 star Rachel Stevens’ romance with handsome actor Jeremy Edwards seems to go from strength to strength.” The belief is evidenced in a photograph that shows “S Club 7 star Rachel Stevens and… handsome actor Jeremy Edwards” walking through a London park. They also reveal that Helen Lederer was spotted “at Los Angeles airport.” Helen Lederer is a female comic/actress who was briefly almost famous.

Finally, traffic wardens in Edinburgh are being taught meditation techniques to relieve stress. They may receive shamanic meditation classes which use rhythmic drumming to send participants into a trance, says the Edinburgh Evening News. This is completely true.

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