ON THE COUCH WITH GLAMMA KID

His most treasured posession is his mic and he advises us never to s--- and fall back on it...

What song describes you best?

“I don’t think there is any one song that can describe me. I’m too complex!”

What is heaven?

“Heaven is a place that you can only enter if you’re positive in life. Heaven is eternal bliss.”

What is hell?

“Hell is earth. Hell is a place on earth.”

What is your earliest memory?

“Me scratching one of my mates in his eye, when he was in his cot.”

What is your greatest fear?

“My greatest fear would have to be God.”

Who is your all-time hero?

“My father and mother. They were motivators – they were strict and disciplined, and I learnt a lot from them.”

What’s the worst trouble you’ve been in?

“A couple of years ago, I was at home with a girl. And my girlfriend came knocking on the door, and I wouldn’t let her in. She was saying, ‘If you’re in there with another girl, I’m going to break her neck.’ And I was just like, ‘Don’t be silly, I’m in here by myself.'”

Who was the first love of your life?

“I had a big crush on my schoolteacher, Miss Jones. She used to play the piano with her high heels on.”

What’s your greatest talent?

“I think my greatest talents are yet to be found. I think that I’ve only found only a bit of what I’m capable of.”

Upon whom would you most like to exact revenge? Why? How?

“No, I don’t believe in that. I haven’t got revenge in mind for anyone. I just want to make music for people. Sometimes you guys see Glamma Kid as something else, but I always try and make things positive, do you know what I mean?”

What’s your most treasured possession?

“It would have to be my microphone. I’ve got a chrome microphone, and without it I wouldn’t be able to put down my lyrics.”

What have you most regretted doing while drunk?

“Oh, just chatting a load of bullshit, man.”

What can you cook?

“Oh, I’m an excellent cook, man. I can cook nearly anything. My mum has always taught me to be independent, you get me? I’m one of those – what do you call it? – ‘millennial men’.”

What’s the best bit of advice you’ve received?

“Never shit and fall back in it. Or, always know where you’re coming from, and you’ll always know where you’re going.”

Can you read music?

“No, but I can play music.”

If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?

“Probably rob a bank. No, I’m only joking. I’d go and make everything that is wrong right. I’d go and put homeless people’s names on the homes list.”

What are your three final wishes?

“Oh, I can’t tell you that. Why? Because then they won’t come true, will they?”