TABLOID HELL – AUGUST 22 2001

Plus - Good news for Robbie's ex, famous people buy clothes and problems for Shuttle Discovery...

Suzanne got drunk.

According to The Daily Star (August 22), the Hear’Say singer and dancer went to a London club and had so much to drink that she became intoxicated. So pissed was the “boozy beauty” that she stayed out until at least 2am and then started to giggle when she got into a taxi to take her home. “It’s not really the sort of thing you’d expect to see from a member of a band like Hear’Say,” a stunned bystander says. And of course that bystander is right.

Several years ago Hear’Say, who sprang to fame this spring on a television programme about them being discovered, though in reality they had never been lost, were a straight-edged neo-punk outfit from just outside Washington DC. Suzanne – who has recently become Sexy Suzanne on account of her lovely hair and frocks – was at that time the band’s bassist. She had a shaved head, never smoked, never drank, ate only vegan food and abstained from sex. “She’s not the same person now she was 20 years ago,” a stunned former friend has said of the 19-year-old. “Back then you wouldn’t have caught her with hair or sexy frocks. She wanted to form Fugazi but was prevented from doing so because she wasn’t in the band. She has nice frocks now, mind. And we were all scared of Noel back in the day. He used to be king of the castle. Every straightedge club he went into had a booth just for him. I don’t know.”

but never one that referred to woman’s tights, though he has made a few little references to sexy things in other songs and once made a video where models roller-skated in front of him while he ripped off his flesh, has not commented on the appointment. Tabloid Hell has been led to believe that perhaps he doesn’t care either way really. “I’m sure he doesn’t care either way really,” a ‘friend’ might say if he knew or if he had been contacted, “Robbie hasn’t been seeing that young lady for quite a number of years,” he might add. “She has nice legs and always wore nice frocks but that’s about it, I think. Cheers. All the best.”

The Mirror’s Ever Vigilant 3am Girls today reveal that Emma Bunton was spotted looking in clothes shops in Hampstead. The Daily Star’s Ever Vigilant 3am Girls With Lighter Hair strike back, revealing that David Beckham was spotted in clothes shops in Manchester. And he bought stuff. Where will this madness end?

Finally, poor weather in Florida is preventing Shuttle Discovery from returning to earth with three spacemen – two US astronauts and one Soviet cosmonaut – after their five month stint on the International Space Centre.

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