ON THE COUCH WITH JIMI TENOR

Is he barking, taking the piss or is it a Finnish thing? Read on...

nme.com uses advance probing techniques on Jimi Tenor

Which song describes you best?

‘Love In Outer Space’, a Sun Ra song.”

What is heaven?

“It’s now. There’s nothing to wait for. It’s already happening.”

What is hell?

“That’s the Devil poking your eye out with… what’s that weapon he has? A trident?”

What’s your earliest memory?

“I think it must have been the first moon flight. Though I remember I was complaining about the sound because there was a delay. And I was like, ‘Why’s the sound so shit? Why is everybody so into this programme? There’s nothing to see!'”

What’s your greatest fear?

“I don’t know if I should be this honest about it… but I guess it’s the day when you realise you can’t make anything creative.”

Who’s your all-time hero?

“It’s an ex-Finnish President called Kekkonen. He was a really cool guy. I mean, he was almost like a dictator, but not really…”

What’s the worst trouble you’ve been in?

“I don’t know. I’ve never been… at least I wouldn’t admit what it was in a paper.”

Who was the first love of your life?

“My mum’s tit (chuckles). It must’ve been.”

What’s your greatest talent?

“Maybe my greatest talent is faking. You know, to make people believe I have a talent even if I don’t have a talent.”

Upon whom would you most like to exact revenge? Why? How?

“I think it would have to be Elton John. A lot of people compare us because I wear glasses and so does he, so people think this is a connection. I don’t know what I would do to him, but it’s an idea.”

What’s your most treasured possession?

“Well, I’m not really into things. Maybe just food.”

What have you most regretted doing while drunk?

“I think it’s more funny to lose your cool so I don’t regret anything.”

What can you cook?

“International cooking. Everything mixed, really.”

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve received?

“My father said, ‘Stop giving interviews’! But I didn’t listen to him!”

Can you read music?

“Yeah. I mean, if you gave me a symphony for a full orchestra, it would be kind of tedious because there’s so many instruments, but I can follow where the music’s going.”

If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?

“I guess I would go to Iran or Iraq and see what’s happening behind the scenes. Or I’d go to see the Black Stone in Mecca because I can’t say Muslim prayers so I’m not allowed to go there.”

What are your three final wishes?

“The first one is to finish my breakfast. The next one… to get a life! I mean, to sort my taxes out and find a country that wants me. The third thing would be to go to eye surgery and get different coloured eyes. And then I also wouldn’t need to wear glasses any more.”