TABLOID HELL – JANUARY 25

Plus - More gubbins about regulars Atomic Kitten and Puff and Jennifer - zzzz...

“Ten facts to take the Bizkit!” cries Dominic Mohan’s Bizarre column today.

Limp Bizkit, the band who mix “colossal metal riffs” with “four-letter lyrics” have an entire column devoted to them in today’s Sun – explaining ten things you need to know about them to remain cool. Number Two? Fred Durst joined the Navy to impress his policeman dad. Essential…

If that isn’t enough, The Sun also brings the sad news that Eurythmics “rocker” Dave Stewart is ill with stomach ulcers, leaving him unable to eat. A pal told the paper that he is in “agony”, and “worried because doctors don’t seem to have found a cure”. Get well soon Dave.

Billie Piper’s new beau Chris Evans has a lot to answer for. Not least, for keeping boy band Five together by “stealing Billie from bandmate Ritchie Neville”. The band’s J Brown told the paper: “I don’t know whether the Chris and Billie thing is genuine. But I for one am happy for us as a band and a bunch of mates…He’s done us a big favour. It caused problems between us at times but now that wedge has gone.”

According to almost all this morning’s tabloids, the on-off-on-off-on relationship between Puff Daddy and Jennifer Lopez is off once more. According to The Mirror, the “Latin beauty” (that’s Lopez) has ditched the “rap mogul” (you guessed it) for a “hunky dancer called Chris”.

appearance due to a migraine.

And finally, the music loving dog who gazes longingly into a gramophone, which has become the symbol of HMV record stores across the world, is to be honoured with a statue and plaque in his home city of Bristol.

The dog, affectionately known as Nipper, was born in 1884 and taken in by the artist Mark Barraud. Inspired by the fascination Nipper had with music, he painted one of the most famous musical pictures of all time. Ahhh…